


Really Wants to Leave

by Ellie_S219 (orphan_account)



Series: What Happens in Hell [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8430214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Ellie_S219
Summary: Season 5 continuation of What Happens in Hell, now Nick and Ellie have to help stop Lucifer and the God Squad from destroying the planet.





	1. Uncle Luci has Risen

Chapter 1: Uncle Luci has Risen

Did ya miss me?

We had been spending some time at Bobby's when something  _off_ came on angel radio. "Lucifer is risen, our brother has returned to us."

Oh shit. 

I ran out of my room and beat the shit out of Nick's door until he woke up too. 

"What the hell is wrong with you!" 

"The apocalypse! Lucifer, he, they-" I started panicking, and Bobby walked out of his room to see what the hell was going on.

"What're ya idjits talkin' bout now?" He seemed a little mad until he saw my face, "What's wrong?"

Nick had been given enough time to understand what I'd said and answered for me, "They couldn't stop it, they've started the apocalypse."

"What? But the seals, didn't Sam ice Lilith?" Bobby said leading us all downstairs to go get some drinks. Grandkids or not, since our actual ages were both 26 Bobby was fine with us drinking, which was a lot more than we could say about Sam and Dean. 

I had to shut my eyes for a minute to focus on remembering the angel radio. They'd said some fucked up shit lately, but nothing as attention grabbing as Lucifer has risen. "No, well yes and no. Sam did ice Lilith, but the angels lied about what the seal was. The final seal was for Lilith to die." 

Bobby sunk into his armchair and drank. He was about to try to call them when I added, "Don't bother, they're on a plane right now." 

"What! Dean ain't goin' on no damn plane!" Bobby said and looked back at me questioningly, "How the hell did you know that anyhow?"

"Frequencies, if I focus, I can even eavesdrop on phone calls, it's kinda fun." I sat dragging a chair from the kitchen out to the living room. I got a lore book about the angels and flipped to the page about Michael. I handed the book to Bobby and said, "You're gonna wanna read this." 

"Why?"

"Because according to angel radio, Dean's supposed to be the vessel of an archangel." I turned to Nick and nervously added, "He's supposed to be the Michael Sword." 

Nick just sort of sat there and facepalmed and we tried to think of what the hell we were gonna do. I figured we'd just wait until I could sense their flight land and then call them and find where the fuck those idjits were, I'm beginning to think Nick and I have spent a little bit too much time with Bobby since we keep ending up talking like him. 

Bobby just kept drinking and finally asked, "What the hell are we supposed to do now?"

I told him my plan, which he thought seemed nice,and I went back upstairs to try and get some sleep. 

I couldn't even lie down before I could sense that their plane was crashing, so much for going back to sleep. I ran downstairs and told Nick. He had turned on some lights to get himself to try to wake up for the day already. I figured that they would probably go to talk to Chuck. 

We said our goodbyes to Bobby and teleported to Chuck's house. 

Sam just got himself hit in the head by a plunger. 

Chuck stumbled back, "Sam! You're okay?"

Sam held his head, "Well, my head hurts."

Chuck looked like he felt bad but then he looked over at me and Nick, "Hey guys."

"Hello." Nick and I said trying to pick up some of the shit in his house. The whole place was a mess. 

Everything turned to static, I couldn't hear anything, or see anything. It felt like about a minute before I could actually see again, and when I could see the first thing I saw was the asshole Zachariah and two of his favorite siblings. 

They were talking to Dean and I walked up to them completely pissed. "Why the hell are you assholes even showing your fucking faces!" I said walking up to them while snapping my pistol into my hand. I pointed it at Zachariah, holding it up with my left hand. "What the fuck could you  _possibly_ want now!" 

Zachariah turned away from Dean just to look at one of the minions at his sides. They walked up behind me and teleported me and Nick to who the hell knows where.

We were on a fairly busy street, well what would've been considered busy for the estimated amount of people. The city had stone streets, and there weren't any cars, just people walking around. There was a fountain to our right, and a ginormous church with a bunch of satanic crap to our left. The people all smiled and waved, mostly all adults, though there were a few teenagers here and there. When I looked at the people it took me a moment to realize- they weren't people. 

I kept looking at the people to try to figure out what was going on. They had no souls, their eyes flickered black. Nick flickered his eyes and smiled and waved at the people. I tried to remember if there was a way to only flicker my right eye, I don't think there is. I know it'll sound bad, especially since we need to help Sam and Dean stop Lucifer, but I nearly started crying tears of joy. We were finally back home. 

We were finally home, in hell.

*****

Nick and I stayed here for a really long time after Dean and Cas had went topside. We switched back to being the 26 year-olds we were when we left, and we tried to remember the directions back to our houses. Nick had an idea and we started walking towards the shopping center a block or two ahead of us. 

As we walked up I recognized it, the first store was a little jewelry shop where I'd worked before we left. From here we found our way back to our houses.

They were both across the street from each other, and I was so grateful we'd payed them off before we left. That way, everyone just figured we were working a bunch of crossroad deals. We decided to go check on my house first. It was a small place, it had to be less expensive than Nick's since I was trying to get into college for a degree in Human Resources Development. My house had two bedrooms, one I'd turned into more of a home office, one bathroom, and a tiny kitchen and dining room. Nick's had three rooms, three bathrooms, and a giant kitchen that looked like it belonged in some actor's house, definitely not my brother's.

We opened the door to my house and saw my ex fiance, well, is it still an ex fiance if you ran off the day of the wedding? George Mendler was sitting there in my freaking kitchen as we walked in. 

"Why the fuck are you in my house!" I said lifting the pistol that was still in my hand and aiming at his head. 

He tried to act all calm and said, "Hey baby where ya been?"

I emptied three bullets into his arm, "Fuck off George, I left you! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Even before  I ran, George was an ass. Nick walked over and kicked him out of the house, and we spent the next half hour burning all the shit he must've brought in. When we cleared out everything, the place looked just like it did when I left. 

Nick went into my room and quickly walked out and said,"You're probably want some new furniture."

I told him to go back and burn the old furniture. I started with burning the kitchen and home office. The only thing I left was a fireproof safe that I'd left, inside was the demonic equivalent to $1,000 and the degree that I was talking about earlier. It just occured to me that I'd still have to go and do an interview to get any sort of job. I figured this was a good place to start, considering my annoyingly high standards for food, I was gonna run out of money quick.

There was only one job that I'd ever enjoyed in hell, and now that Lilith was gone, maybe I could go back to it. Being a secretary for hell meant typing the records for the souls collected by any demons, and I fucking loved that job. Well I did until Lilith fired me for no fucking reason, I'm so glad Sam killed her, even if it started the apocalypse. She even fired me just before I got promoted, I was gonna be one of the secretaries that follows a specific demon around keeping tabs on the due dates for their deals. The king of the crossroads himself was going to be the demon I was assigned to, which was a little weird considering our first meeting. 

I had showed up for an interview, and he had opened the door and looked at me and asked, "Are you Elizabeth?" 

I walked up and since in hell assholishness during an interview is admirable, said,"You know, I think the crown's really compensating for something, you are way too short to be a king." The phrase I'd said seemed familiar, maybe even significant, but I couldn't tell why.

But even though I was a sarcastic bitch, he still got a little mad when Lilith fired me. Well, he didn't get mad at  _her,_ since she still outranked him, but he still seemed like he felt bad. He even said that 'the office' would miss me, but the whole office hated me but him. Let's see if he misses me when I didn't even remember what his damn name was!

I told Nick the plan and scheduled an interview for about two days from now. Since it still seemed pretty early in the morning, Nick and I went furniture shopping. 

I got a new bed, a couch, some nightstands, a little table for the dining room, and scheduled an appointment to choose new cabinets for the kitchen. 

We were walking over to the office furniture when a demon walked up to me and said, "Elizabeth! You're back!" It was one of my friends Deevi, she smiled when she saw Nick, who she actually dated for awhile when we were all in high school, "Um, hi Nick." I almost forgot that they didn't really properly break up before we left. 

"Hey Deevi." Nick said, seeming a little nervous. I remember that Deevi was one of the few friends that Nick and I actually had, and I know that Nick would never admit it, but he really cared about her. 

I smiled and backed out of the conversation in order to get to the desks. I felt a little bad for leaving them, but I'd left the most important furniture for last. I was looking at a desk that was similar to my old, I'm not good with change, when another demon, one I didn't recognize, walked up to me. "Elizabeth Charlotte?"

"Yah."

"We've moved your interview to today, same time." He said and walked off without an explanation. 

I found Nick, who was just saying goodbye to Deevi, and rushed back home. 

I got a quick shower, and tried to think of what the hell I was going to do. My interview was in two hours, and it'd take fifteen minutes to walk over to the office building, if I could remember the directions to it. I got an idea, and put on one of my nicest dresses. It was a strapless dress that had it's own form, kind of forming a funnel that reached the floor.There was a belt of ribbon that was big enough to cover half of the space of my stomach, and there was an opening at the bottom that looked like where someone would take a big step and show off their stupid leg. The dress itself was all black, the belt was striped white and gray. There was something apparently called a train ( I considered it a cape) , that started at my waist and trailed about a foot behind me when I walked. The train, started out a blue, but slowly faded to white. The edges of the train were torn up, I loved this dress. 

I put on some gray gloves that matched the belt to go with it, they went up about halfway between my elbow and shoulders. I looked at the mirror and figured my hair looked fine. 

I wasn't a hundred percent sure whether to be sarcastic, or do what other people did topside, just sit there and look pretty seemed like a less tiring option anyway.

I walked out of the bathroom and heard Nick finish a call.  He looked at me and waved his arm like a jedi mind trick. "Sorry Ellie, this is for your own good. Well, maybe not, but it's more fun for me." 

"What?" I felt like I'd suddenly forgotten something.

"Do you remember your favorite job the last time we were here?"

"No," I paused, what the hell did he do now. "I mean, I know it was the whole hell's secretary thing, but I don't even remember working there. I don't remember any of my coworkers, you don't think they'll be upset about that, do you?"

"No, I doubt it, now go to your damn interview." Nick said pushing me out the door. 

I don't know what the fuck that was about, but I'm glad he didn't make me forget my plan. 

I walked up to the building and stood outside the double doors, since they have no space between them, if I kicked them down I could walk right in the middle. I didn't kick down the door, just slammed the doors open since they opened towards the building. 

I walked in with an angel blade and looked at all of the people threateningly, "IF SOMEONE DOESN'T TELL ME WHERE THE KING OF THE DAMN CROSSROADS IS I'LL HAVE TO GET SOME BLOOD ON MY NEW DRESS!" Remember what I said earlier about being indecisive about what my plan was? I lied. 

Everyone stared at me in shock until someone opened a door on the far left, he looked familiar, but I didn't recognize him. "Are you Elizabeth?" I nodded and he walked back into the office, nodding his head back for me to follow. "Come on then."

I walked in and saw a little coffee mug with a crown on it so I said jokingly, "You know, I think the crown's really compensating for something, you are way too short to be a king." I meant to say, 'the king', but whatever. 

The guy seemed a little panicked once I said that, but he didn't say anything about it. "So, you're here to apply to be a secretary of the transaction records?"

"Yes, sir." I don't know why, but I didn't like being a sarcastic bitch to someone that seemed as worried as he did, and he was British, so I wanted to be nice. 

"And you've had that job before?"

"Yes sir."

"And you were fired by Lilith right before you were going to be promoted?"

"Yes sir."

He sat there writing a bunch of notes down about something and asked, "What's your last name? We don't seem to have it on file," he kept looking up skeptically, "and I don't seem to remember you."

"Stiel, and I'm terrible at remembering names too."

When I said it he looked up quickly, nearly messing up whatever notes he was writing, "Stiel, like Ellie Stiel?"

"Yes sir. Why?"

His eyes went wide and his security guards at both sides of his desk gave him a weird look. "Nothing, just you haven't updated your fanfics in awhile. It's good to know you're okay." He said trying to sound sarcastic, he was failing miserably. With that he looked at a gold watch and said, "I have to go take care of something really quick." He left and instructed the guards to finish the interview. 

The guard to the left of his desk walked forward and sat down, reading the notes that had been written. He looked up and said, "Well, all we really have to do is tell you what the job offer is."

I nodded a little nervous, the guards were really freaking tall. "Okay, what is it?"

"Since you've worked here before, and you were fired before a promotion, we're starting you off as a specific demon's personal secretary of records."

"Really, who will I be working for?" I said, I was actually a little excited at this point. 

"Crowley." The guard seemed a little shocked when he said the name and even reread the notes to make sure he didn't misread them. He looked at me with wide eyes, "Are you seriously okay with that?"

"Sure, sounds fun." I said happy to be back."Who's that?" I said signing the contract to take the job.

At this point the king walked back in and said, "Oh right, I didn't introduce myself." He was wiping some blood of his hands with a towel, he held out his right hand and said, "The name's Crowley."

I felt like my eyes were gonna pop out of my face, "What?"

Crowley didn't seem to notice, or care, about my question. He just added, "Oh yah and I don't actually live here, so you'll be staying with me at the place I've bought topside. I hate staying here more than I have to, makes it more difficult to know what my morons are doing." He typed something into his phone and I heard my own phone beep. "That's the address, see you in two days."

I went to check the text and when I looked back up he was gone. I turned to the guards and asked, "What the hell just happened?"

They didn't answer, they just stood there shocked that I even took the job.

When I got home Nick smiled and asked, "How'd it go?"

"I don't know."

"What? Why?" Nick looked at my face and asked, "What's wrong?"

It took me a minute to say it, but I eventually answered, "I just signed a contract to become the king of the crossroads' personal secretary of records." 

"What?"

I didn't notice him asking me this, but just continued, "and I have to go back topside, and stay at the damn house as him." 

Nick actually gave a little laugh at this point and asked, "What's his name?"

"Crowley."

Nick thought for a moment and said with an annoying smile, "I ship it."

"WHAT?"

He thought for another minute and said, "Crellie," He paused to think if he liked how it sounded, he nodded to himself and said, "I ship it." 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Crellie and the Colt

I nearly punched him in the fucking face for even asking.

"What's he like?" Nick said, and I knew exactly what he was doing,

"I'll only tell you if you take down your damn shipper goggles."

Nick considered it for about a second before shaking his head and saying, "No. Come on, what's he like?"

I hesitated to answer, "British." I said letting my face fall onto the kitchen table. I'm never gonna hear the end of this am I?

Nick's eyes widened, "And?"

"And I think he's read some of my fanfics."

Nick slammed his hand on the table and yelled, "MARRY THAT MAN!"

I glared at him and he just kept smiling like a dumbass. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Nick ignored my question and asked, "What makes you think he's read some of your fics?"

I put my face back on the table and said, "When he asked what my last name was I answered Stiel, and he mentioned Ellie Stiel, but he'd called me Elizabeth up until then. And he knew I haven't updated in awhile."

Nick just kept smiling as I pushed him out the door and told him to go home. I ended up crashing on my couch.

***

When I woke up I told Nick goodbye and asked him to cancel the thing for the new cabinets. 

I went topside again and found the house that Crowley was talking about, and it was more of a mansion than a house. I walked up the giant ass driveway and knocked at the door. Another demon answered and said to the middle of nowhere, "She's here."

Crowley walked up to the door and waved the demon to leave. Before he left the demon asked, "My lord, why did you choose her? You do realize she needs sleep, right?"

Crowley seemed confused, "What?"

The demon just smirked and said, "God damn."

Everybody's eyes flickered. Crowley and the other demon's eye were red, which was normal for crossroads demons. When mine flickered light and darkness, the demon gave a little smirk and left.

Crowley stood in the doorway drinking an entire glass of whatever the hell he was drinking. He eventually invited me inside the giant house. The whole place was full of a bunch of nice expensive furniture. 

"Nice place." I said as we walked down a hallway. "Sorry I didn't bring up to whole sleep crap."

"It's fine." Crowley said looking into each room that we passed, "Anything else?"

"I need food," I said as we walked into the room that was a kitchen and living room. "And," I paused to think if I really even wanted to ask, "is there a reason a bunch of the other demons call you Lucky the Leprechaun behind your back?"

Crowley took another drink and walked over to the couch and sat down, "Those morons think my human name is Irish." He turned on the tv and poured another glass.

I laughed a little and said, "I thought it was because you're kinda short. What was your human name?" It didn't really occur to me that Crowley didn't exactly seem like a normal name.

"Fergus MacLeod." He said as he handed me a glass.

I nearly spit out the first sip I got, I held the hand holding my glass up to my face, "What?"

"What?" He said confused by my reaction.

"Just the name sounds, familiar. Isn't it Scottish?"

"Yah."

"Son of a bitch." I thought it didn't actually say it loudly enough for him to hear me.

"Witch, actually."

"What?" I panicked.

"Son of a witch."

I was still panicking, "I didn't mean to say that out loud, and I didn't mean you. It's just," I didn't know how the fuck I was supposed to explain,"was she a really bad mom?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Horrible, she once tried to trade me for three pigs."

I laughed a little and sat down at the other end of the couch.

Crowley switched through a bunch of channels, "You know it's actually better that you have this job, since you have to sleep and stuff."

"Why?" I never really did any research before I was supposed to get promoted.

"Well, if you work for a specific demon, you mostly just sit around waiting for them to get a deal. Most people want to complain that the hours are 24/7 but it actually depends on the demon you work for. You might only work like ten hours a week."

"Really?"

"Yah, I honestly doubt you'll even have to work that much. Not many people are going to bother trying to deal when the devil's walking the damn earth again."

"You don't like the fact that he's out of his cage?"

"Hell no," Crowley said looking around to see if any of his minions were nearby, " I'm honestly just waiting for some hunters to find me so I can give them the Colt. Then I can get them to go kill the devil for me."

"Why do you have to wait for them to find you?"

"I can't just go give someone the Colt without drawing attention to the fact I want Lucifer dead. If I wait, the Winchesters will show up, and then I won't have every single one of those morons that work for the devil trying to kill me."

I froze, "You know about the Winchesters?"

"Of course, why? Do you know them?"

I lied, "I've heard about them, but I've never met them." 

Crowley nodded and handed me a bunch of money, I think it was like $2,000. "Go get a laptop, and some food. The room at the end of the hall to the left is yours," He made some more money show up and counted off another $3,000. "go get some furniture too." 

I looked at the stacks of money, "Thank you sir." And I teleported to one of my favorite and yet also least favorite places, IKEA. 

I always wound up getting lost in this damn place whenever Nick and I came here, but I loved seeing all the furniture anyway. I figured I would set aside $1,000 for the laptop and about $100 for food. I recounted the money just to check how much I actually had, and I was right, $5,000.  So, I had $3,900 to furnish one room. I remembered looking in at the room Crowley was talking about and I figured it was a big enough room to have a bed and a mini office area set up. 

First I went to the floor with the beds, yah, an entire fucking floor for beds. I picked out a full size bed. It was one of the ones with three walls to where it almost looked like a couch, I think it's called a day bed. 

Next I went to the floor with office stuff. I immediately saw an L-shaped desk that was made of glass. I had a paper to fill out to order different stuff and marked that down as something I was going to get. I picked up an office chair with wheels, a few square lamps, a rug with black and white circles, and a bookshelf that's shape resembled those things that bars have to store bottles of wine. I made sure to try to get some stuff that matched with the bed and desk that I'd already chosen. I think I was going with black, white, and gold. 

I went up to the section with other stuff, I'm not sure what exactly you'd call it. I found a black nightstand that matched the frame of the bed I'd chosen. There was one  of those whole body mirrors with white and gold. I found a chandelier with black and gold circles, it went along with the rug I chose really well. I picked out some white curtains and some extra little mirrors and things to hand on the walls. 

I went ahead and payed for everything and the total seemed pretty low, $2,540. Well, I guess that left me with extra money for snacks. 

Next I went over to an office store to get a laptop and some accessories for my desk. I chose a black laptop that was by the same company that made my old one, which only stopped working after Dean shot it when he got tired of me trying to get him to read Destiel fanfics. I found an adorable little white and gold globe, some black stackable paper organizers, a gold pencil holder, and one of those boxes that looks like a book. 

I'm pretty sure you don't need a description of all of the snacks I got, but after I was done shopping, I had $1,890 left. Since I'm assuming that I was allowed to use all of the money, I decided to go clothes shopping. 

I didn't spend the rest of the money, but I did get five new dresses. I still came back to the house with $1,800 left over. 

When I walked up to the house I saw a hellhound, and yes demons can actually see the hellhounds. It was in the driveway and was missing its front right leg, and it was two feet tall, a lot shorter than average. Crowley was standing there and talking to some other demons. One was carrying a giant axe, and they lifted it and the blade glinted in the sunlight before starting to head down to cut off the hellhounds head. I teleported over and stood between the axe and the dog. I stopped the blade by letting it cut into my right arm, and my eyes flickered. I looked at the demon, who was staring at my right eye and said, "If you're gonna kill this dog, you'll have to do it over my dead body bitch." and while he was distracted by what I said, I took the axe from him and chopped  _his_ head off. 

I turned to the other demon Crowley had been talking to, and he was staring at me in shock. I told him, "Why the hell were you trying to kill this dog?"

The demon seem scared. He stood up straight and put his hands behind his back and answered both fearfully and respectfully,"He was the runt of his family, and since he's missing a leg it's been a waste of our time keeping him alive."

I turned back to the dog and pet it. Then turning back to the demon, who'd now walked closer to Crowley hoping he'd interrupt, I said, "Well, okay. I'll take of him, then he'll be my waste of time. Besides, I don't have to work really long hours right now anyway." I looked at Crowley, he didn't seem like he wanted me to stop talking, I turned back to the demon and said, "This dog is mine now, okay?"

Demon half nodded/ half bowed, "Yes ma'am." and he teleported away, the axe vanished with him. 

I went back to petting the dog, and he seemed pretty grateful to have been spared. I even started talking to him the way humans patronize their dogs, "Hey boy, you're gonna be mine now. What should I name you huh?" I sat there petting its neck while trying to think of a name.

Crowley finally interrupted, "Why'd you do that?"

I turned to him and the dog seemed a little upset at the lack of attention. "What?"

"Why did you save his life? He's completely worthless there's no point in keeping him. He's short and he can't really do anything to help you." Crowley said, and I thought he was starting to not talk about the hellhound anymore.

"So what if he's short, short's adorable." I said forgetting the fact that early that day I'd said that Crowley was short. "As for the whole not doing anything, who the hell cares. I'll keep him as a pet, he can keep me company." I decided to throw in another line jokingly, "Maybe I can get him to read fanfics with me." 

Crowley smiled and changed the subject, "How'd the shopping go?" 

"Good, still have almost $2,000 left." I said as the dog kept jumping up around me, "Can I spend it on getting some stuff for him?"

"Of course." Crowley said and I started laughing, "What?"

"I had an idea for a name," I could barely talk I was laughing so much, "name him Gay Thoughts and have him chase down a bunch of homophobic pricks until they're running around screaming,' You can't caught me gay thoughts!'." When I said it aloud it didn't sound as funny, still funny, but not as much as it did in my head.

Crowley smiled, "I doubt they'd have enough time to say it before he tore them to pieces." 

"I thought you said he couldn't do anything?"

Crowley smirked, did he always carry a glass of something around with him? "I could train him." 

I smiled and the dog looked over at Crowley and started jumping at him too, "Really?"

Crowley watched as the dog kept trying to jump up to lick his face and said, "Sure, I've got my own, pretty strong one too." He snapped and another hellhound showed up.

This one was five feet, sitting down. As soon as it showed up mine backed down and walked backwards towards me whimpering. I kept petting his head while the hound that just showed up was growling. Crowley saw that his was scaring mine and punched his in the face and said, "Quit it, this pup's gonna be like your little brother now. Okay?"

The dog quit growling and stood up, now it was about seven feet tall. It walked up to mine and sniffed at his forehead. He licked my dog between the eyes and walked back over to Crowley. He laid down and whimpered, probably mad to be stuck with a short dog. 

I gave a nervous smile, "Okay, that's totally not terrifying." I said and got my dog to sit down. "Does yours have a name?"

"No, any actual ideas for yours?"

"Hey! The idea I had earlier  _was_ an actual idea!" I said pretending to be offended, I finally answered seriously, " I don't know." I thought for a moment, "You think anybody would get mad if I named him Cerberus?"

"I doubt it, it's a nice name."

I smiled, "Yah," I pet Cerberus' neck and asked, "What do you think I could shorten it to?" Before he could answer I thought of a nickname, "Ceby! Then I can make Nick think that I named him after Sebastian."

Crowley seemed a little worried, "Who's Nick?"

"My brother, he always hated it when we got a pet and I'd suggest a name that was a reference to an anime character." 

Crowley seemed relieved when I said Nick was related to me, but I don't know why. He smiled a little and said, "Well, do you already have your laptop?" 

"Yah. I got it with some stuff for my room. They said the furniture should get here tomorrow." 

Crowley made his hell hound leave and mine followed us inside. I went ahead and started putting away the food that I got and Crowley checked what the hell I bought. I was putting away the ice cream when he realized he forgot something, he reached in his pocket and had one of the things that the people had on doctor tv shows, what were they called? "Here's your pager." Right! A pager!

"What's this for?"

"Whenever I go anywhere to make a deal it'll go off, and there's a tracker on mine so you can go to track the records of the deal." He said pressing a button on his and showing me how to check the location tracker on mine. He seemed like he just remembered something else, "And a guy who said his name was George Mendler called and asked about you." 

I cringed, "What did the ass-hat ask about?"

Crowley seemed a little happy that I wasn't happy about George, "Nothing much, he tried to start yelling a bunch of crap at me and I hung up." Crowley paused and looked at me, "Who the hell is that guy anyway?"

"Well that depends," I stole the glass right out of his hand and drank. "if you run off the day of the wedding it counts as an ex-fiance right?" Crowley nodded, "Then he's my ex fiance."

Crowley seemed a little confused when I answer, but he still seemed happy. "Okay, wanna talk about it?"

"Hell no, it's a long freaking story and I'm really freaking tired."

"Okay, wanna watch tv?"

"Yah."

We both sat down on the couch and Crowley handed me the remote. I put the channel on a show with forensics and murderers and stuff. 

It was the end of an episode, and they were showing the re enacted version of what the forensics showed happened, and it was a really gory murder. I went wide eyed and payed close attention to the details of the murder. "Aw man, the one time they show an episode I haven't seen and it's already over!"

Crowley watched with a horrified look as they ran through the planning that the woman went through to kill her husband. When they switched to the husband's family for their suspicions of the wife, I started laughing. "You know, people are pretty stupid. They always say shit like 'love makes the world go around', but then the main suspect in any murder, is the person that the victim loved most." I said and watched as Crowley stared at the fake blood. "You don't do good with blood and crap do you?" 

He shook his head and Ceby went over to him and nudged his arm. "How can you watch this?"

"A long time ago I tried to get a degree in Psychology, I like trying to figure out how the murderer's mind worked. They always think they're so creative, but how is using gloves creative?" I said and Ceby walked back over to me and rested his head on the side of the recliner. I popped the foot thing up to the side would be shorter and easier for him to reach. 

I looked over at Ceby and he kept nearly falling over since his legs were tired. I looked up at Crowley and asked, "Are you okay with him on the furniture?"

"Sure."

I smiled and lifted Ceby up and had him rest on my stomach, he seemed overjoyed by the attention. I kept petting his head and watching his ears twitch as he closed his eyes. I felt pretty tired too, and after a few more episodes, all ones that I'd already seen, I fell asleep. 

*****

I woke up in a bed, if you could even call it that. This bed looked like the kind you'd see in the movies with the extremely rich dude that lives by himself and is a total self centered jerk. I had to sit up to see the foot of the bed, and Ceby was sleeping at my feet. When he felt my feet move he jumped up and walked over to lick my face. 

I was sitting up against the wall behind the bed at this point and Ceby sat down next to me with his tail smacking the wall. I smiled at him and said, "These blankets are really fuzzy huh Ceby?" He gave a quiet bark and jumped up and got off the bed. "Aw, I don't wanna get up yet."

He just stood there looking at me wagging his tail and he gave a little bark of 'I don't give a shit, wake the fuck up' and walked over to the suitcase I'd brought with me. I picked out a different dress, a strapless blue dress that was made of a material that made it look very professional, and I went over to the bathroom that was attached to the room to get dressed. 

Ceby scratched at the door the entire time I got changed. When I walked out he gave a happy little bark and we walked out of the room. It was the room across from the one that Crowley said was mine, and Ceby and I walked over to the living room. Crowley was still watching tv, for a second I thought he was sleeping, but he looked over a me and Ceby as we walked up to the other chair. 

"Oh good you're awake, I got two deals last night and the notes for the records on the table." He said getting up and walking over to the kitchen. 

I paused, "You got some deals, why didn't you wake me up!" I said as I walked over to the table and sat down to read the notes. Ceby came over dragging a bag with my computer behind him. I took the laptop and pet Ceby as he sat down on the floor next to my seat. I was fun watching him place his front paw directly in front of himself to balance.

Crowley was looking in the fridge but slightly turned so I could hear him, "Well the first one was right after you fell asleep. And the second one was after I'd just spent half an hour getting Cerebus to get off so I could carry you over to an actual bed. Trust me you don't want to spend an entire night on those chairs," He said moving some things in the fridge around to look around. "When you try to pop your neck, it'll feel like when you can't sneeze. It's annoying. What do you want for breakfast?"

"What?" Ceby perked up at the word breakfast, I realized I still had to go shopping to get some stuff for him. "Um, I'm not really hungry, but I need to go buy the stuff for Ceby." 

Crowley closed the fridge and walked over to a pantry that I packed full of junk food. "I know, we're going shopping later today. You sure you don't want anything?" He said taking one of the doughnuts from the box I bought. 

"Yah, I'm fine." I looked at Ceby while his eyes glinted at the food, "Can hellhounds have human food?"

"Yes, why?"

I walked over and got a bag of Cheetos out of the pantry. I held out a handful and Ceby happily ate all of them. I walked over to the sink and washed the orange powder off my hands and Ceby followed me thinking he was going to get more food. "Hey, that's it for now. We need to get you actual food, you can't steal my snacks." Ceby whimpered a little and put his head down. "Well I'm sorry, but no."

Crowley smiled while Ceby and I argued about the snacks. He walked up and pet Ceby and said, "Well, I guess we should go get your normal food soon. You'll have to stay here though."

Ceby whimpered even more as Crowley and I left him in the house. I looked at him and said, "We'll be right back, and we'll bring you snacks!"

Ceby just laid down at the door and started waiting for us to get back. 

 We went to a nearby pet store and looked around. I picked up some dog food, and Crowley found a leash and collar with the metal spikes on them. I got a bunch of toys and stuff, and I wound up staring at the dog beds. 

Crowley walked over, "What are you doing?" 

"I kind of want to get him his own bed, but I kind of don't. He seemed really cozy sleeping at my feet." I said looking at some of the beds, "These are kind of nice, but I still think Ceby would be more comfortable with me." 

Then a person that worked at the store walked up and said, "You know, I can really agree with you. I let my dog stay in my bed too." She looked at Crowley and smiled, she continued, "I'd still get a him a bed anyway and let him pick." 

"Okay, thank you." I said and turned to Crowley, "Which one do you think we should get?"

The lady smiled and said, "You know, you two are the sweetest. I mean, I've seen a bunch of couples with the whole 'he wanted a kid, but she wanted a puppy so we compromised and got a puppy' deal, but you two are just so cute!"

Crowley picked out a bed, and I don't think either of us even wanted to talk to the lady anymore. I responded to where she wouldn't keep talking, "Oh, no we're not a couple. It's more of a roommates with your boss kinda situation." 

The woman panicked and didn't say anything, she just acted like she had to check on something and ran off. 

Crowley didn't seem to have payed attention to what she said, and walked over to the machine that engraves info onto a tag. I chose a tag that was a red circle and engraved 'Cerberus' on the front and my phone number, '(392)612-2982' on the back. 

We went and payed for everything and went back to the house. As we walked up Ceby jumped up from behind the door. 

I put the collar around his neck and he started barking cheerfully. As I got the tag out to put onto his collar, the truck with all of the furniture I'd ordered showed up in the driveway. 

Ceby started barking at the door and I had to drag him off to Crowley's room while the people brought the furniture in. They arranged everything in my room for me in a matter of about an hour, which feels like forever when you're trying to keep a hellhound calm. Crowley knocked on the door and said, "They're gone." 

I opened the door and Ceby ran off growling, he walked around looking for the people, but they had already driven off. I went over to my room and opened the door.

There was a giant window on the wall right across from the door, and to the right of the window was my desk. The chandelier hung in the middle of the room, and the metal circles glinted with sunlight from the window. My bed was pressed up against the right corner of the wall with the door. The rug was shifted towards the wall with the door so the wheels on the office chair could work on the hardwood floor. My bookshelf was aligned against the wall with the shorter side of my desk. Lastly, there was a walk in closet that opened from the wall to the left of the door.

Cerberus ran into the room and rolled around on the carpet, then ran up to me and sat down. I got the dog bed that Crowley and I had bought and set it down between my bed and the bookshelf. Ceby walked up to it, sniffed, and started growling at it. 

"Okay, okay. You want to just stay at the foot of my bed then?" I asked taking the bed out of the room and trying to remember where I'd put the bag of stuff I'd gotten at the office store. Ceby followed me back to the kitchen and seemed a little bit happier when I found the bag of office stuff and put down the dog bed. I took this bag and the one with stuff from the pet store back to my room and set both bags on my mattress. I still needed to go get blankets and pillows and stuff. 

I got all of the toys out of Ceby's bag and put them on the floor and let Ceby look at them. His immediate favorite was a stuffed owl. He didn't actually attack it like I thought though, he just carried it around by the little blue hat on its head, occasionally having it fall out of his mouth and he'd panicked to get it back again. 

I took out the office supplies and started to organize my desk. Crowley was still standing in the doorway and asked, "Didn't you buy any actual writing utensils?"

I looked around and dammit, "Nope." I tried to not sound like an idiot when I said it, but, WHY DIDN'T I BUY PENCILS?!

"You can get some out of my office, it's the door at the end of the hallway." 

"K, thanks."

I finished unpacking the bag full of stuff and headed over to his office. When I didn't find any pencils on the desk I opened the top left drawer. There it was, probably my least favorite thing in the whole damn world, the Colt.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Thanks for the Memories

I couldn't take my eyes off the damn gun, the Colt. 

I haven't seen that piece of shit in ages, I think was like fifteen the last time that I saw it. And what a fucked up day that was. 

The pencils were in the drawer below the one that had the Colt. Once I got about five pencils I walked back to my room. Ceby was still laying on my mattress, looking up when I walked in. I put the pencils in the holder on my desk. 

Crowley walked back in with a bowl full of water for Ceby. 

"Why do you just have the Colt in a drawer? Shouldn't you have that damn thing in a safe or something?" I asked trying not to get mad at the end. 

"What? Oh no, I usually don't let anyone in my office, and I didn't even tell anyone I have the Colt. If they don't even know that I have it, why would they bother me to look for it?"

I nodded and kept organizing some things on my desk. Actually it was more like just moving things back and forth to try to distract my mind from the Colt. "You should get a safe for it." I said quietly while thinking, "Does it even have any ammo left?" 

"Yah, I actually had some of my morons make some more for it, I didn't tell them why. As for the safe, I doubt I'll need it. Hopefully the Colt will be gone soon enough." 

"Yah, sure," I said going over to my bed and sitting down next to Ceby. I leaned against the side wall of the bed and put my feet up and rested my chin on my knees. Ceby rolled over to me and laid on my back so I could pet his stomach. 

Crowley walked through the door and leaned against the wall by my bed. "Why do you seem to hate this thing so much?" 

"It's a long story." I said watching Ceby turn his head from side to side trying to catch my hand as I lightly poked him in each side and teasing him. 

"I've got time."

"What?"

I looked up and saw Crowley looking over at me, he seemed a little worried. "I doubt any deals are going to come through anytime soon. We've got time."

I tried not to seem too shocked, but instead decided to try to be a jerk and said, "Sorry, you have to be at friend level 5 to unlock my tragic backstory." 

At first I looked up expecting Crowley to be a little mad, but he just seemed a little worried but said, "Okay, what level am I at?"

I laughed a little when he asked that, I hadn't exactly been counting nonexistent exp.  "Uh, I don't know. Like 3 I guess, you let me get a dog, and you've basically paid for all of my snacks and shit." 

Crowley smiled and asked, " How many more pets to be level 5?"

I laughed and Ceby jumped up and started growling, I could almost picture him saying 'no more pets'. 

"I don't know, how many pets can I have?"

Crowley smiled, "Depends on the kind of pet, you can get as many dogs as you want. No cats, and, well I doubt you'd seriously ask for a pony." 

I didn't even realize I had started crying, but I had to sniffle before I asked, "Can I have a unicorn?" I laughed a little when my voice cracked, and Ceby walked up and kept nuzzling my arm. I pet his head and he sat down and kept trying to get me to pay attention to him. 

Crowley seemed scared by the fact I was crying, "If I can find one I'll bring it home." 

I  was laughing a little until I realized he was serious, "Okay, you know I was joking right? Unicorns aren't even real. " I thought for a moment and asked, "Is it still illegal to have hummingbirds in captivity?" 

Crowley had walked over to my bed and sat on the edge. He turned around to face me and asked, "It's illegal to have a hummingbird?"

"Yah, at least it was when I was little. I've wanted a pet hummingbird since I was nine." I said as Ceby rested his head at my feet. 

Crowley smiled and snapped a cage with a hummingbird in it onto my desk. The bars of the cage were too far apart and the hummingbird flew out. Crowley started panicking as he got up to try to follow it. 

I was laughing as Ceby moved to let me get up to follow it. I snapped and made some red flowers appear in my hand. The hummingbird was flying towards the hallway when it went backwards towards the flower. Crowley was still trying to catch the damn thing, so he ended up staring at me when I got the bird to come to me on its own. 

I snapped to change the cage into one with the bars closer together and place the flower with the bird hovering around it inside. I watched it fly around and try to get out of the cage, but it quickly decided to go back to the flower. I sat there watching it and snapped to make some more flowers show up, along with a bottle nectar that was set up like a water bottle in the cage. 

I sat there watching it and Ceby ran up to sit down by my chair. He copied Cas' head slant while he watched the bird go around the flower. It felt like nearly an hour before I realized Crowley was still there. 

He was still standing in the doorway and smiling. When I looked over at him he seemed shocked that I noticed him. "What level did the bird get me to?"

I laughed and said, "4.9." I said trying to avoid saying 5. 

Crowley seemed a little disappointed, but said,"Want to go get lunch?" 

"Sure, but you don't even need to eat." I asked watching Ceby jump at the thought of food. 

Crowley shrugged and walked down the hall. Ceby chased after him and I got up up to follow too. I kind of sprinted out of the room and into the hall asking, "Hey, can we go get sushi?" 

Crowley smiled as Ceby bumped into him, "Never tried it, but sure." 

Ceby sat down and watched me and barked, "HOW HAVE YOU NEVER TRIED SUSHI!" 

Crowley shrugged and continued walking down the hall, he pulled some keys out of his pockets and shook them, "It's a long story, and you're not level five either. Where are we going?" 

Ceby followed us to the door while I thought where we were gonna go, "I don't know. There's a place in Colorado that's pretty good."

Crowley got in the driver's seat of his car and rolled down the window and said, " Let's go!" 

Ceby jumped into the back seat as I got in the passenger's seat and looked around the car. I looked pretty expensive, but I don't know enough about cars to know what it was. I probably looked pretty stupid when I asked, "Why are you driving?"

Crowley quickly switched between looking at me and the road, "Oh I'm sorry, did you want to drive?" 

"Uh, no. Why can't we just teleport over?" 

"Didn't want to, I like driving."

"Okay." I said trying to find a station. 

Crowley circled through the presets on his radio, and I stopped him when I heard a song I liked. I really wish I didn't. I didn't realize it until I already said I liked the song, but it was 'Dear Future Husband' by Meghan Trainor. 

_Son of a bitch._

I tried not to wince as I realized the song just started. I could even feel myself doing the thing that Dean did when he was mad at Cas, where he'd stick his tongue out covering his top lip. I tried not to let Crowley notice. 

In case you don't know why I was panicking, here's the lyrics. 

Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be my one and only all my life. Take me on a date, I deserve a break and don't forget the flowers every anniversary 'cause if you treat me right, I'll be the perfect wife. 

You got the 9 to 5 but baby so do I so don't be thinking I'll be home and making apple pies. I never learned to cook, but I can buy the book.

Dear future husband, if you wanna get that special loving, tell me I'm beautiful each and every night. 

Dear future husband, make time for me, don't leave me lonely and I will never see your family more than mine. I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed, hey! 

Don't have a dirty mind, just be a classy guy. Buy me a ring, buy buy me a ring. 

I think I've proven enough reason to be practically shooting the damn radio. 

Crowley didn't seem like he wanted to talk about anything and I tried to think of anything to say so he wouldn't pay attention to the song lyrics. 

"How you get to be the king of the crossroads?" 

Crowley shrugged and said, "Long story, level 5."

"Fine," I said trying to think of anything else to say, my dumb fucking brain thought it would be good to say, "Is there a queen of the crossroads?" What the fuck even is my damn brain. 

Crowley seemed okay though, laughing and just stopping to answer, "No, hell no. Why"

I was a little happy that he didn't seem to overthink the fact that I asked, or at least he didn't automatically assume why I did. I smiled and did the thing where you let the wind carry your arm out the window and you just keep acting like your hand is going over waves. " Just trying to pass time, figured it would lead to a funny story." I paused and added, "According to some of the people that read the Supernatural books, you're banging Lilith, or  _were_ , heard she's kinda dead now."

Crowley cringed when I mentioned Lilith, and he quickly answered. "Yah, heard about that. Don't really miss her though." 

I felt myself go wide eyed, "Wait, what! No way! I mean I'd heard it, but I didn't freaking believe them!" 

Crowley seemed a little confused, "I thought you knew, that's sort of why she fired you." 

"WHAT!" I said rolling up my window so I could hear him.

Crowley's eyes went wide and he said, "Nothing." and he turned up the radio. 

The song that was on now was '500 Miles' by Sleeping at Last. It was a quiet song so even when Crowley turned the radio all the way up you could still hold a conversation without needing to turn it down. 

I turned it down anyway and asked, a little mad, "WHAT!?" 

Crowley didn't answer, and I snapped and the car stopped moving. 

Ceby perked up, I think he was taking a nap before. Crowley looked over at me and he seemed scared. The radio had stopped with the car, and I was able to quietly say ," I'm gonna ask again. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Ceby poked his head through the space between the front seats. I pet his head and he rested his head on the cupholders. Crowley seemed a little scared again and still didn't talk. 

Ceby started growling at him when he realized I was mad he didn't answer. I crossed my arms and Crowley switched back and forth from looking at me and Ceby. His eventual response was , "It's a long story." 

I rolled my window back down and turned the radio up. "Of course it is." 

I laughed as the next song that came on was 'Complicated' by Avril Lavigne.

We sat in silence the rest of the way to the sushi place. I snapped to make Ceby morph into a French Bulldog. I picked him up and carried him into the restaurant. Crowley walked in behind me, and watched as the chefs and waitresses greeted me. 

I held up Ceby's front left paw and waved it at everybody. They all smiled and waved back and I sat down at the sushi bar and Crowley sat to my left. I snapped up a notebook when nobody was looking and started writing some ideas to update my fic. Crowley kept glancing over at me and asked, "You're left handed?" 

"Yah." I said taking a menu from the waitress. "Thanks." I said as she stood there knowing I would order quickly. I choose three of the more basic rolls and ordered a water.

"Want soup and salad?"

"No thanks, just two waters."

The waitress nodded and walked off. 

The chef working at the bar we were sitting at smiled and asked, "Where ya been?"

"My uncle took Nick and I to Vegas." I said taking a sip of the water I ordered and smiled. 

"Congratulations," He nodded at Crowley, "He your new Vegas husband?"

 "No." I said trying to force myself to laugh. 

The chef nodded and went to behind a curtain to get some more fish. 

I kept writing more ideas in my notebook and noticed Ceby trying to jump up on the seat to my right. I picked him up and sat him down on the chair. He sat down and wagged his tail to where it kept hitting the back of his seat. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands before they actually finished our food. 

When I got back, I saw Crowley looking through the notebook I'd been writing in. As I walked up to our seats, Crowley slammed the notebook shut.  I sat down right as a man walked up to the bar and leaned against the wall to the right of Ceby's chair. 

The asshat was obviously checking me out, but I didn't pay attention to it. At least I tried to, until he started talking. 

He looked over at me and said, "Hey sweetheart, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" 

I took a sip of water and gave a sarcastic smile, "No, never heard of the place, but I think I chipped a nail crawling outta hell." I said quietly snapping my left hand and waving the fingers of my right with all the nails chipped. 

Then, a woman that I assume is the guy's girlfriend walked up a little angry. She walked up to me, thinking I was trying to flirt with her stupid boyfriend. She said, "You know there's a special place in hell for bitches like you!"

"Yah, I know. It's called the throne watching the souls of cheating sacks of shit like your boyfriend burn and suffer." I said and flicked a recap of what happened on the nearby tv.

The girlfriend slapped the guy and walked out, after apologizing to me. I waved at her as she left, and her now ex-boyfriend looked at me. 

I flipped him off and waved him away. As he walked off the chef handed us our tray. He was smiling and said to Crowley, "You know, this little lady's always been really good at turning your own words against you. Better watch out." He said winking and getting back to work. 

Crowley smiled nervously and looked at the food. He actually tried to use the chopsticks. 

I let him try a few times before I started laughing. I picked up a piece with my hand and ate it and he looked like he felt like an idiot. "What?" I asked, mouth half full of food. 

He watched me and said, "I thought that-"

I waved my hand to shut him up, and since I ate another piece, I held a napkin up to my mouth so I could talk and said, "You know, the first time all damn day is the first time you're not really supposed to." 

"What?"

"Oh I'm sorry, were you actually seriously thinking shit through when you said the shit about Lilith?" I asked and the chef looked at Crowley with a bunch of 'I told you so' in his eyes.

Crowley still looked scared and asked, "You remember that?" 

"I have the hall of memories practically drilled into my brain, of course I remember."

Crowley paused, "You know about the hall of memories?" 

"Shit. Wait, how do you know about the hall of memories?" 

"What? Nothing." Crowley said quickly eating a bunch of sushi so he wouldn't have to talk.

"Fine." We finished eating and when the bill showed up I immediately took out my credit card to pay. Crowley made the card burn in my hand. "What the hell?"

Crowley didn't say anything, he just payed the bill and picked up Ceby. "Let's go,"

"What?"

"I thought we'd go to the hall of memories." Crowley said as Ceby licked his face. 

"O-okay." I said hesitant to follow him. 

We drove to the hall of memories and had to practically drag Cerberus in the door. 

Crowley smiled and said, "Pick a door."

I walked down the hall awhile and watched Crowley look at all of the doors that were mine. He looked like he wanted to go through some of them, but I still couldn't choose a door. "You pick."

Crowley smiled and picked the AU door. I tried not to freak out too much. When it led to another hallway Crowley looked at me and I told him he could pick another door. 

He tried to go to the high school AU, but I stepped in front of the door and said, "You don't wanna go in there. That place is boring." I said laughing nervously. 

Crowley seemed confused, "I can at least decide that for myself."

He opened the door and dragged me and Ceby inside. 

It was the continuation of the previous high school AU, and it was the Friday before homecoming week.  _Son of a bitch._

It started in Italian, and I was talking to Crowley and smiling. 

"Wanna go get your dress this weekend?" Crowley said organizing a folder.

"Sure." I sat there smiling like an idiot. 

Crowley smiled too, "You still coming over today?"

"Yah, I wanna show you my last art project. I really like this one." I said and started working on some of the algebra homework. 

The room skipped forward to when we were at Crowley's house, and it looked just like the mansion that we lived in in this universe. We waved to some woman with red hair and walked into the living room. 

I dropped my backpack by the armchair on the right and got out a big sketchbook. I opened it to a certain page and showed Crowley the drawing I'd made. 

It was a medieval throne room and the torches had blue flames. There were three thrones, "What are the thrones for?" 

"One for the king, one for the queen, one for the pets." I said smiling. "And that isn't actually the one I wanted to show you." I said flipping to the next page. It wasn't an actual drawing, but a sheet of reflective glass. 

"What's this for?" Crowley said tilting the sketchbook to make the lights in the living room reflect off in different directions. 

I smiled and lifted my right sleeve while Crowley focused on the mirror. I tilted it to face the new tattoo on my shoulder. 

As soon as he saw the ink on my arm, he didn't even read it, he turned around to look at my arm. "What's that!"

He froze looking at my arm, and the tattoo that said 'Crowley', "I went to that alternate universe too, but I figured Fergus is a pretty weird name. And I'm pretty sure you changed it for a reason." 

He just stared at it and eventually looked up and said, "You really got that tattooed on your arm?"

"Yep." I said tracing over the letters on my arm. 

Crowley just smiled and said, "Where did you want to go to get your dress?" 

"I don't know, I was thinking the shopping center by the mall." I said flipping through my sketchbook. 

"What kind of dress do you think you want?"

I smiled and held up a drawing of a dress, "You think they'd have one like this?"

Crowley smiled, "Probably." 

Then the woman with the red hair ran back in with a phone in her hand, she seemed worried. 

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

She looked at me with more anger than fear, "You're staying here, there's too much snow to even get out the front door!" 

Crowley and I ran over to the window and looked outside, the snow came all the way up to the bottom of the window. 

I didn't know what to say, the lady with the red hair seemed really mad. She just stormed off and you could hear her digging through boxes of stuff in another room. 

 Crowley turned to me and asked, "You're really okay with staying here?" 

I nodded my head towards the window, "Yah, and even if I wasn't, I don't think there's much of a decision against all of the snow."

"You think Sam and Dean are gonna be mad that you stayed here?"

"No, I'm sure they know that it's not like I can leave. They'll probably just have Gabe and Bobby help them kill you in a snowball fight tomorrow, maybe Nick will help you build a fort." 

Crowley seemed scared, but then the lady with the red hair came back in. She was carrying a deflated air mattress and dragging a box of blankets behind her. "Here."

"Thanks." I said as she stormed off again. I turned to Crowley and asked, "I'm not supposed to set this up here am I?"

"Where else are you going to put it?"

"The tv's in your room, idiot." I said winking and dragging the mattress down the hallway. "I'm pretty sure Dean would kill me if I actually got any sleep, and I'm not staying up all night in a room without a tv."

I set up the air mattress and opened the box full of blankets and pillows. I dumped the whole box onto the mattress and put the box in the hallway. Crowley walked in and looked at me and smiled, "So, you're just gonna stay up till the snow's gone, watching tv?"

"Yep," I said rolling myself up in a really fuzzy blanket, "that's the plan." I said crashing onto the pile of other blankets that I'd formed at the head of the mattress. 

"You know, you haven't updated your writing in a while. I have a laptop if you wanna work on it, you've got time." 

I looked over at him and my blanket wrap fell apart, "What? You know about that!" Crowley nodded and sat at the edge of his bed and went through a drawer on the nightstand to the right of his bed, he got out a laptop and handed it to me. I laughed a little and said ,"You know, Dean says that guys that can seriously let their girlfriend have their laptop without worrying about their internet history don't exist. Guess that makes you some kind of boyfriend unicorn, huh?"

Crowley laughed a little and said, "Yah, wait why would I be worried about internet history?" He realized on his own and suddenly panicked, taking back the computer, "Hang on." 

I heard him clicking to delete some stuff and frowned, "Aw, you're supposed to be my unicorn dammit. Hope your porn is freakin worth it!" 

Crowley looked up a little horrified, "What! No, it's just-" He paused considering what to answer, "nevermind."

I rewrapped my blanket burrito ness and said sarcastically, "Oh what, worried I'll go through the history of all the fanfics you've read?" 

I heard him clicking delete faster and jumped up a little , "Oh my god, you're seriously worried I'll judge you for the fanfics you've read."  I unwrapped the blankets again and sat on the edge of his bed and hugged him, "Have I ever told that you're freaking perfect?"

He seemed a little shocked, "What?"

"Most guys would be worried that I'd see their freaking porn history, and you're worried about the list of fanfics you've read. Hell, you're the first guy I've met that even reads fanfics, and I freakin love you." 

Crowley smiled and handed the computer back to me, "I love you too." 

The room switched back to the hallway and I was frozen still. Crowley didn't say anything but just looked at me. "What was that?" He eventually said.

"Nothing." I said choosing the next door, 'Royalty', can't be anything weird through that door right, right?

WRONG 

The universe started with a castle, and Crowley was sitting on the throne. 

Some of the guards were talking to him, but we couldn't hear what they were saying. They seemed angry, and nodded to each other before leaving.  

The room skipped ahead to a giant party. There were a bunch of women dressed in expensive black dresses. A lot of them wore expensive jewelry and were talking to Crowley. The whole damn thing looked like the shitty part of a princess movie. 

Then a bunch of guards dragged in a girl with a white dress. Once they dragged her over to Crowley, it became obvious that it was me. When they let go of my arms, I elbowed the one to my right and swung my leg to kick the one to my left in the balls. They both fell over in pain and I turned to Crowley, "Who the hell are you?"

Crowley froze and slowly blinked, "I'm-"

One of the girls that was talking to him was annoyed and decided to interrupt ,"He's the king of hell, dumbass." 

I turned to the girl with a pistol and shot her between the eyes ,"Says one of the whore from the seventh circle of hell that decided to try to impress him. " I turned to the other girls and walked off while they were frozen in shock. "Later bitches!" 

The room was focused on the women that were surrounding Crowley, and the guards finally recovered. They turned to him and asked, "What do you want us to do?" 

Crowley just stared off at the door I'd stormed out of, he waited a moment before realizing they asked him a question and answered, "I must meet that woman." he said finally looking up from the door.

The guards nodded and walked off, leaving Crowley surrounded by a bunch of angry women. 

They were all starting fights with each other now, and when the guards dragged me back in I was pissed. 

I was kicking at both of them and saying, " What the fuck do you bastards want? You've already got a shit ton of chicks here."

The guards didn't talk but just pushed me into crowd of people in front of Crowley. They all started trying to hit me, but I kicked their asses before any of them could get a hit. 

I walked up the stairs to the throne and started shooting with my back towards Crowley, when I turned around he was watching me, "What the fuck do you want?" 

Crowley gave a scared smile, "I'm the king of hell." 

"Yah, I've noticed." I said rolling my eyes and shooting at the people that were currently running up the stairs. 

He didn't seem to know what to add, but quickly decided, "Who are you?"

"Elizabeth Charlotte Winchester." I said turning back to him with my eyes flickering black and light. "So why the fuck are you dragging me over here?"

He seemed scared at the name Winchester, "You're a Winchester?"

"Yep, Dean's daughter, jackass. Can I go home now?"

"No."

"What?"

The voice that said no wasn't Crowley, it was one of the guards. They smiled and said, "Hell is in need of a queen, and who'd be more qualified than the daughter of a Winchester." 

 The guard reminded me of Uriel, but a lot more scary. "Excuse me!" I said lifting the pistol to his face. 

The guard smiled and said, "Welcome to hell." He put a crown on my head and the room switched back to the hallway. 

I smacked my face into the wall and Crowley chose another door. Oh great, 'Chick Flicks' again. 

It replayed the same AU as before, and when Crowley showed up with the hellhound again, he said that the dog's name was Cerberus.

The rest played out normally, up until the part where Crowley sarcastically said, "Oh right, this is the part where you expect me to not love you anymore. Oh no I've found out you're a Winchester's daughter, now I bloody hate you." 

I helped Ceby up and he sat down on the hood of the car. I didn't even look up at Crowley, "Yah." 

Crowley tried to hand me a drink and I smacked the glass to the ground. "You know, I knew about that crap before we even met."

"Bullshit bitch." I said quietly, glancing over the edge of the car to see the shattered glass. 

"Okay," Crowley brushed aside my hair and kissed my forehead, "I'm assuming you want custody of Cerberus?"

"You say that like he's a kid." I said barely tilting my head towards him. 

Crowley smiled and said, "He might as well be, the amount of shit you buy him."

I finally looked up at him a little mad, "Shut up!" I picked up Ceby and held him, "Don't listen to him Ceby, you're my baby. Huh boy?" I said gently shaking his paw and letting him pant and try to lick my arm. 

Crowley just smiled, " You still mad?"

I glared up at him and Ceby even looked up too. I looked back down and said, "Mad, why would  _I_ be mad?"

"Because, I thought that you didn't know that Dean was your dad and I thought that there was no way in hell I was going to tell you. I knew that Dean was your dad for forever, I just figured neither of you knew so I could still date you without having my head on a salted platter."

I looked up, "What?"

Crowley looked at me, "I thought that Dean didn't know he had a daughter, and that he wouldn't kill me for dating her. But I did know that if I told you Dean was your dad, you'd want to meet him." 

"So, you're not mad that I didn't tell you that I knew Dean was my dad?"

"Hell no, if anything I know why you didn't tell me."

"Really."

Crowley tried handing me another glass and I actually took this one, "Is it because literally everyone you've ever cared about ran off scared for their lives once you told them. You knew the same soulmate AU crap that I know, and you were worried. Why wouldn't you be? I'm the perfect freakin' guy for you and you were worried you'd lose me. Don't worry darling, I'm not going anywhere."

I laughed a little and smiled, "Damn, just when I thought you'd finally go." 

 The room switched back to the hallway and I was pretty damn confused, "You know that Dean's my dad?"

Crowley seemed a little shocked too, "Of course, everybody knows that." 

I just shrugged off his response and chose the next door, I even walked back into the room full of actual memories and chose 'Lilith'. 

"You don't wanna go in there." Crowley said trying to stop me from walking into the door.

"Can I maybe decide that for myself?" I said pushing him out of the way and holding the door open for Ceby.

The room started as a dark room in the middle of nowhere, Lilith was trying to rip off Crowley's shirt and I turned to the one that wasn't part of the memory and said, "Pg-13 dude, pg-13."

She noticed something on his left arm and grabbed it, "What the hell is this? WHO THE HELL IS ELIZABETH CHARLOTTE!"

Crowley just shrugged and said, "A person, don't worry about it."

Lilith still seemed pretty mad, but the room skipped ahead to her giving orders in hell. A demon that I recognized as my old manager walked up to her with a clipboard and said, "Lilith! One of our new workers seems very promising, she's only been here for two months and I'm already thinking of promoting her!" 

Lilith turned to the demon and asked, "What is her name?"

"Elizabeth-"

Lilith thought she had heard enough by the time she had said my first name, but she quickly thought to ask, "Is her middle name Charlotte?" 

The demon looked at her clipboard and answered, "Yes, why?"

Lilith turned to look down a hallway where Crowley was actually talking to me. He ran off to congratulate me once he heard somebody was getting promoted. Lilith turned to the demon and asked, "Is that her?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Fire her."

The demon seemed a little confused, "Um, what? Why? Ma'am she is the best person we have on staff right now. Surely you have an actual reason for wanting her to leave, I mean you have to."

Lilith flickered her eyes and said, "I know, my reason is because I said so, FIRE HER!"

Crowley and I had heard her and turned, Crowley seemed a little worried and walked up to Lilith. He got her to calm down a little and reconsider. 

Lilith turned to my superior and asked, "What will her promotion be to?"

"She'll be a specific demon's personal secretary of records ma'am, I think she's very well qualified for the job." 

"What demon will she be working for?" 

"Well since she's really good at her job, I'd figured we'd put her with a demon that gets a lot of deals, so then she works to her full potential." She looked at her clipboard and said, "I thought it'd be a good idea to have her be Crowley's assistant."

I smiled and waved at Lilith, she let her eyes flicker again and said, "No, fire her, NOW." 

"O-okay." The demon turned to me nervously and gave a slight smile. 

"It's fine," I said to her as she tried to think of a nice way to fire me, "I'll just need a little while to pack up my things, okay?"

Lilith left and the demon's smile quickly faded into worry, "Are you sure you'll be okay? I know you've already paid off your house, but-"

I raised up my hand to stop her, "I'll be fine, trust me." I said and she looked like she was about to start crying, "Ah, come on. Don't start crying, you're not the one that just got fired." I tried to say jokingly, but that just made it worse. I just smiled a little and said, "Hey, if you insist on this somehow being your fault, you wanna help me pack up all my shit?"

She nodded and we walked off to pack up the shit I had on my desk, there weren't any pictures, just a bunch of dorky statues of anime characters and fandom reference stickers on the wall of the cubicle that had been labeled as mine. We got everything packed into a little box and my supervisor opened my desk drawer and saw a bottle of tequila looking up at her. 

She held it up and asked, "Have you always had this at your desk?" She looked back into the drawer and picked up some of the glasses.

I looked over and nodded, "Yah, if having a glass will calm you down you can pour yourself one." 

She just smiled a little and put the bottle and glasses into the box. "No thanks." 

I smiled and grabbed the bottle out of the box and got a glass, "Fine, suit yourself." I said pouring myself a glass. 

I was halfway through the glass when Crowley showed up. "You shouldn't be drinking in here you know."

I flipped him off and said, "First of all, I don't work here anymore, so I don't give a fuck. Secondly," I flickered my eyes, "even when I was working here and drank, I have a holy alcohol tolerance, so I wasn't drunk on the job." I had poured myself another glass and filled up a second one. I held the second glass out to Crowley and asked, "Want one?"

He took the glass and said, "Thanks, sorry Lilith fired you. I don't know why she did that." He said drinking the whole glass in one go, he cringed as he finished the glass.

The room switched back to the hall and Crowley's face was bright red. 

I glared at him and Ceby even seemed disappointed. "So, why  _did_ Lilith fire me?" I asked half sarcastic, half pretending to be clueless. 

Crowley shrugged like he had no idea, and I just walked off to choose another door, "Hey, it's my turn to choose a door!" Crowley finally said while I was trying to open another door.

"You're a lying sack of shit, you don't deserve to choose a door." I said as I had stopped opening the door I chose anyway. 

Crowley walked over to another door and went in, great. Now I had to follow him. The door was labeled, 'Necklaces', this son of a bitch, or witch, or whatever shouldn't have chosen this damn door.

The room started back in heaven where Zachariah and Uriel and some of the other angels were beating the shit out of me and Nick. It started when Zachariah slit my throat with some weapon and, well, you know the rest up until Gabriel took us back to his heaven to keep us safe. We were both asleep as Gabriel ran around freaking out, he even started talking to himself. 

"How the hell am I gonna take care of those two? They're kids!" He said to himself as he ran around his apartment looking for the keys to the two apartments next to his own. He found them and went and inspected each apartment. He walked back in and said, "Okay, they can each have their own places, unless, SHIT. Do they have to stay with me? Are they gonna be okay on their own? I mean, it's not really their own, I'm right next door, but SHIT."

I opened my eyes and looked at him and smiled, "You're Gabriel aren't you?"

Gabriel panicked, I wasn't supposed to get up yet, "Uh, yah. How'd you know that?"

"Cas used to tell us stories about his siblings. You, Balthazar, and Samandriel were his favorites, but he didn't rank the three of you amongst each other. You all sort of shared first place." I said yawning and looking over at Nick. He was passed out on the couch next to me. I felt at my neck and realized that Gabriel made one of those necklaces that fights perfectly to your neck appear on my neck, I think they're called chokers. "What's this for?" I said trying to pull it off my neck. 

Gabriel panicked, again. "Don't mess with that! Please, have you ever heard the fairy tale where the lady had a ribbon around her neck?"

"No." 

"Well, she had a ribbon around her neck and one day her husband pulled it away and her head fell off, but that's not the point. Yours is there to heal your neck from the cut that Zachariah made. It might never heal completely, but the necklace will protect it from any new injury." 

The room switched ahead to when I was completely alone, I had been crying, a lot. The room was dark, and the only thing you could see was the glint of metal from Ruby's knife back when I'd stolen it for awhile. The necklace was gone and the knife was in my right hand. My eyes flickered as I finished writing a note off to my left. My eyes were watery and the angel grace in my left eye had faded greatly. I switched the knife into my left hand and covered my mouth with my right. I quickly sliced over the scar that was left by Zachariah, and my eyes flickered again. 

This time, there was less sadness, and more rage. I sliced again, and nothing happened. I mean, I was bleeding a lot, but I didn't die. Why didn't I die! 

I tossed the knife off to the corner and burnt up the note. I went into the bathroom and washed away all of the blood to look at the wound I'd left. I started crying again and put the necklace back on a little tighter so my neck would stop bleeding. I let my eyes flicker again. Even through all the tears you could see a piece of metal with the number 6 carved into it in my right eye. 

I slid down the wall facing the mirror and that was the end of the memory. 

*****

We all stood in the hallway again and Ceby was whimpering and licking my leg trying to get me to stop crying. It didn't work though, I wasn't crying because I was sad, I was angry. 

I turned to Crowley, his face went pale and he tried to talk, but I interrupted him. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU PICK THAT DOOR! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ASK BEFORE YOU GO THROUGH ANY DOOR, OKAY!"

"Okay." Crowley said and he even seemed a little sorry for me. 

"Don't give me that damn look, I swear to Ceby I'll let 'im tear you to pieces." I said looking for a new door. 

"What lo-" Crowley started, but I think he realized what I meant mid sentence. "Sorry."

"It's fine." 

Crowley thought for a moment and asked, "So, the thing in your eye-"

"Was the bullet in the Colt with 6 engraved in the bottom. I shot myself in the eye, and if the gun did it's fucking job, it would've been the quickest death. It didn't work, I don't know why, and the bullet is still lodged in my eye. Nick has one in his left eye, the one that's labeled 7." 

"You shot yourself in the eye?"

"Yah, we still have no clue why it didn't work though. It should've, the damn thing even works on angels, so it doesn't make sense. Nick says it's because we still have some 'purpose' left to fulfill, but I think that's complete bullshit. The numbers alone point to something being off."

"What about the numbers?"

"6 and 7 were the bullets we shot with, but when we stole the gun the bullets were supposed to be 8-13. Samuel Colt had used 6 and 7 to kill two demons that tried to kill him. When we checked the gun after, 8 and 9 were missing, but the bullets in our eyes still say 6 and 7. Nick thinks it matches with the lore. Legend says that there are only 5 things in existence that the Colt can't kill. It's never specified what the five things are, but Nick thinks we're somehow the 6 and 7th things that the gun can't harm."

Crowley seemed a little nervous, "Do you have any idea what the other 5 things are?" 

I shrugged, "No clue, but if I had to guess, I'd think it was God and the horsemen. After all, Death is older than God himself."

Crowley seemed relieved that the theory didn't make it to where Lucifer had some weird immunity to the Colt. I couldn't find another door that I really wanted to go through, "Can we go home yet?"

"Sure." Crowley said picking up Ceby to carry him, he kept looking at the necklace I was wearing and said, "Is that really why you wear those all the time?"

I felt at the necklace, I rarely even noticed it was there anymore. "Yah, why?"

"Nothing, I just thought it was because it looks really cute on you." We walked out the front door of the hall of memories. 

"Really? I hate the damn thing, I mean, I always thought that it was nice, but everybody else is always-" I said reaching my left arm behind my neck.

Crowley quickly turned around and said, "Who the hell cares what everyone else thinks, they're all gonna burn in hell soon enough anyways." 

I smiled and took Ceby from him, "Thank you." I said kissing his cheek and walking past him, I was even able to pickpocket the keys to his car.

He seemed stunned for a moment and chased after me saying, "I should compliment you more often." 

I handed him the keys and said, "Don't you'll make me paranoid." 

He smiled when I handed him the keys. "How'd you do that?"

"Do what?" I said smiling at him while he got into the driver's seat.

"Steal my keys." 

I laughed as Ceby jumped to the back seat. "You're attention was misplaced, you were distracted."

Crowley started driving, "Hey, misplaced makes it sound like a bad thing that I was paying attention to you. As for distracted, well duh, I'm not exactly used to having my soulmate randomly kiss me!" 

I laughed even more, "Huh, if I can get your keys just by kissing your cheek I wonder what I can take when I actually kiss you kiss you!" 

Crowley's face was red and he smiled cluelessly then quickly added, "Wait, what!" 

I think even Ceby did the dog equivalent of laughing at this point, "Well, I would  _show_ you what I mean, but you're kinda driving." I said watching as Crowley's eyes widened when he figured out what I meant. 

We were at a stoplight and Crowley lightly slammed his face into the steering wheel. "Bloody hell."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Fine." I said getting my laptop from under my seat. 

I started typing and updating my fic, and Crowley looked over.

"What are you doing?"

"Updating book 5."  Crowley nearly crashed into another car trying to pull over. "What?"

"I wanna read it."

"SAME!" Nick said, suddenly popping up from the backseat of the car.

"Why the fuck are you here!" I asked slamming my laptop shut.

"I COULD FEEL IT!"

"What!"

"MY OTP IS CLOSE TO BEING CANON!"  

I turned around a little too quickly, "Shut up and leave, dumb ass!" 

"NEVER!" 

Crowley looked at us both a little confused and asked, "What?"

"My new favorite ship."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Crellie." 

"NICK! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"No! WEE-WOO!" 

"What the hell is that!" Crowley asked still extremely confused by what the fuck was going on.

"That's Nick's fan-girl screech."

Crowley nodded, "What's the ship that he's talking about?"

"Yah Ellie."

"Shut up!" 

Nick finally got really mad and teleported us back to the house, we were all in the living room. 

"No." 

"Fine, why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to give something back." Nick snapped and Gabriel was at his side. 

"Hey kiddo!" Gabe said smiling, "Have you gotten taller?" 

I smiled and Nick said, "Yah, I guess it's technically not me giving the memories back, but who the fuck cares."

Gabe smiled and gave me back the memories from when I was working as hell's secretary. He then walked up to Crowley and gripped his shoulder really tight, "You break her heart and I'll break every single bone in your body while my little siblings name them." He said calmly and gave Crowley back some memories too. 

I watched as Gabe smiled at Crowley's fear and left. Nick was still there and asked, "So, is my OTP canon?"

I looked at Crowley, either way I didn't exactly care. I didn't realize that I still hadn't told him what Crellie even was, but he responded, "Yes." I guess Gabe did some mind trick to tell him.

Nick smiled, extremely proud of himself, "You know, there's a song title that really fits what you should be telling me right now."

I smirked and said, "Yah, yah, whatever. Thanks for the memories." 


	4. Can the Colt kill the Devil?

Chapter 4:Can the Colt kill the Devil?

It'd been a few weeks since I'd moved in, and from what I'd heard from the security demons, Crowley seemed to like having me around. 

Most of the security demons started talking to me a lot. One of them was named Mark, and he seemed to be the nicest one there. 

"Mornin' miss." He said as I walked past. Ceby was in the form of a normal dog, and I was taking him for a walk. 

"Hey Mark, anything new?"

"Nothing much miss, just a demon named Nick is trying to start shit amongst the other demons. He's been trying to summon a damn archangel, fortunately it's not working in his favor."

"Oh yah, remind me to call my brother at some point."

"Sure miss, what's his name?"

"Nick."

"Oh." 

I smiled and chased after Ceby as he ran off down the driveway. 

We walked around for awhile, walking down the street with a bunch of trees instead of houses. Ceby sat down and stared at me when we passed what used to be an empty lot.

"What boy?"

Ceby ran off towards an empty dog park and I was forced to follow. 

Ceby ran up and down the ramps and obstacles that were set up and I noticed Nick standing in the corner of the park.

"Sup sis?" Nick said turning to Ceby as he ran to my side. "He yours?"

"Yep, name's Ceby." I said petting Ceby as he rolled around in the grass. 

Nick face palmed,"Please tell me that isn't short for Sebastian."

"No, it's Cerberus." Crowley said walking up and Ceby ran up to him.

Nick smiled, "Hey, I need to talk to my sister, alone."

"Sure." 

"Take Ceby with you!" I said and Crowley picked up Ceby and carried him off to the house.

"What's going on?"

"Dad's on a hunting, and he just talked to Sam for the first time in a few weeks."

"So?"

"What, we need to go help them!"

"No we don't, whatever it is, they can handle it."

"Okay, but I wanna help."

"Why?"

"What, nothing!"

Nick said this while handing me a fake badge. I knew what he doing, but I wasn't going to stop him. It's much easier to witness than explain, so just give it a minute.

"Fine, I'll go with you, happy?"

"Yay!"

*****

"Agents Bonham and Copeland."

"Rick Carnegie, glad to have you. You guys here for Cal Hopkins' death?"

"Yes sir."

"Well, I'm afraid you guys came out here for nothing. We already booked the man that did it."

"I'm sorry who-"

"Carnegie!" Nick shouted walking up to them. 

The man smiled and said, "Agent Ramone! Nice to have you back, who's this?" He said looking towards me. Nick was wearing a suit and all I had was dark blue form fitting dress that I'm pretty sure I couldn't run in to save my life.

"Agent Allen, nice to meet you." I said holding up my badge. 

Dean did a double take at my badge and Nick said, "She's new." and flipped my badge, I had it upside down. 

The man nodded and said, "Well, why are you guys here?"

"Just nearby, wanted to get her to see the area."

The man nodded and led Sam, Dean, and Nick into the room with a small tv. Before he closed the door in my face he said, "Well, feel free to explore the office!" 

Great, now what? 

I had been waiting in the hallway outside the room for about ten minutes before they came back out. 

Nick smirked and turned to Dean and said, "Hey, would I be your favorite child if I found you a case with James Dean's car?"

"What, no!"

Nick's smile faded, and I walked up to them saying, "Well, better to not even get your hopes up Nick, the car's a fake."

"WHAT! What makes you think that?" Nick said.

"I got the engine number." I said holding up a piece of paper. 

Dean's eyes went wide, "You got the engine number? Like, the one on the bottom of the engine?"

"Yah, why?"

"If the car was real it could've killed you!"

"So, that would've been my problem. Can I be the favorite child?"

"NO!"

"Dammit."

*****

We left them to deal with the rest of the case, well if by left we mean Nick teleported us away because he thought Dean would've let me be the favorite child. 

"Fine, what now?" I asked Nick while looking around, we were at an empty gas station on the side of a highway. 

Nick snapped and made our motorcycles appear. They were both Japanese racing motorcycles, mine was bright green and Nick's was black. 

My phone rang, "Hello?" I didn't recognize the number.

"Hey miss, this is Mark."

"Oh hey Mark, what's up?"

"I, uh, wanted to ask you something."

"Shoot." I said catching some food that Nick tossed me as he walked out of the building. 

"Um, d-do you wanna go-OW!"

I heard a gunshot, "HEY! Are Crowley and Ceby okay! MARK!"

I heard laughing through the static, "Hello darling, we're fine."

"Pfft, I wasn't asking about you! I was worried about Ceby." Nick rolled his eyes as he handed me a helmet. 

"Oh, okay. You done talking with your brother?"

Nick nodded and, I'm not good at lip reading, but I think he said 'two weeks'. "Yah, actually, he kinda needs a place to crash for a few weeks."

"Oh, he can stay here. Does he need sleep?"

"Yah, I'll let him stay in my room and I'll stay in yours," I looked over at Nick, he was lip singing and dancing to Single Ladies, looking at me and pointing to his ring finger and singing."not like you need sleep." I added flipping Nick off and he smiled, he's always so proud of himself when he's annoying. 

"Uh, why not just have him stay in mine and you stay in yours?"

"Because your room has fuzzy blankets, and Nick doesn't deserve fuzzy blankets because  _HE'S BEING AN ANNOYING LITTLE SHIT!"_ I said looking at Nick as he got mad, he stuck his tongue out and did the weird hand/antler crap on his head. 

"Okay." 

"Ok, see you in a few hours."

Nick looked at me and smiled, "Who was that?"

I rolled my eyes and said, "My boss, you ass."

Nick smiled even more, "No he's not. He's your boyfriend ain't he?"

I put on my helmet and said, "No, just because he got me a puppy and tried to cook me breakfast one time doesn't make him my boyfriend, now shut up!" 

Nick's eyes widened, great,  _that_ got his attention, "He made you breakfast!" 

I already started to inch towards the highway. "Yah, well  _tried_ to. I told him the night before that I was tired of microwave crap for breakfast, I meant that I had to go shopping, not that he had to cook. But the next morning I woke up to the smoke detectors going off and he was standing in front of the stove and the pan was on fire. How does that even happen!" Nick shrugged and I continued, "Well, whatever, time to go home, come on." I said turning onto the highway.

Nick raced up beside me, "Wait, you really consider that place your home, don't you?"

"Pfft, no. I mean, Ceby's there, and my hummingbird, and my computer-"

Nick stared at me as I listed off more material things, "And?" He did the eyebrow thing that Gabriel did whenever he asked a question he already knew the answer to. 

"And, my pancake burning soul mate is there too, happy?"

Nick smiled and asked, "And?"

"And what asshole! Home is where the pets are, the pancake burning soul mate is! A home doesn't need four walls and a roof, it just needs your god damn PANCAKE BURNING FREAKING SOULMATE!"

Nick smiled and laughed, "What is this an anime?"

"You started it."

*****

We pulled up to the driveway around five, and Ceby ran outside to greet us. 

"Hey Ceby, did you miss me?"

Ceby started growling and Crowley walked out, "Sorry, just got him to watch Sherlock with me, we just passed the part where Moriarty comes back."

I nodded and lifted Ceby up. I looked over at Nick and said, "This is my precious baby, his name is Ceby, and apparently I'm going to be able to make him watch tv with me." 

Nick smiled and started petting Ceby, "Where'd you get him, I want one."

"She saved his life, poor thing was about to have his freaking head chopped off and she stood in the way of the blade." Crowley said handing me a drink.

"Thanks, and yah, some assholes were gonna hurt him, it was horrible. Wanna get moved in?"

"Uh, yah, sure." Nick said walking towards the door when he decided to remind me of the damn anime moment that we had on the highway, "Where's the hummingbird?"

*****

I helped Nick unpack some clothes and showed him the hummingbird that Crowley got me. 

"So, you really like him?"

I shrugged, "He doesn't do much, usually tries to escape a lot."

"NOT THE DAMN BIRD!"

"Oh," I said, and I felt stupid, "I'm not answering that."

"Awe, why not? Worried he'll hear you and doesn't like you back?" I punched Nick in the stomach so hard he had to sit down on the bed for awhile, "I'm taking that as a yes." 

I rolled my eyes and got my laptop from my room. "Shu-"

Nick smiled, "Let me guess, shut up and get in the car?"

That was one of Dean's classic things to do whenever he didn't want to continue talking about the current subject, so I just nodded and walked out of the room. 

*****

The two weeks had actually passed by fairly tolerably, except for Nick's constant playing cupidness. 

It seemed as if everyday he'd had a new way to try to set me up with Crowley. One time he just straight up tossed him into the room I was staying in and locked the door! What the hell is wrong with my brother?

I dreaded getting up, mostly for fear of the fact that Nick was so persistent in the idea of setting us up. It seemed as if every day the plans got more complex and annoying. 

  At least today's plan didn't start as soon as I woke up, I hope. I got a dress that was pure white and walked into the kitchen.

As I yawned I looked over at Nick, who was sitting at the table eating some pie.

"What?" I asked looking over at him, something was gonna happen today, I just knew it.

"He made you breakfast, and wrote down some deals from last night." Nick said smiling.

"Fine, how many?"

"Just one, some moron thought you could only summon a crossroad's demon at midnight." Crowley said trying to hand me a plate of pancakes.

"No thanks," I turned to Nick, "Well, two weeks are up today, where are we headed now?"  
Nick looked at a newspaper he had on the table and said, "Here, look at this."

I looked at the newspaper. It had a man that was attacked by a 'bear', and it showed the front door of the house. I didn't know what the hell made that thing, but it wasn't a bear.

"So, what do you think it is?"

"I don't know, let's go find out."  

We went to the town where the attack was and asked the man's wife some questions. As soon as she said she thought she saw the hulk, it made sense, but I kept asking extra questions anyway.

As we left, I talked to Nick, "It's Gabe, isn't it?"

"I don't know, what makes you think that?"

"I did some research on the guy before we questioned his wife, he has several counts of spousal battery and court mandated anger management. If he was killed by the hulk, it's one angry monster against another."

Nick eyes went wide, "You really think it's him?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, maybe we should go check with dad."

Nick nodded and we waited outside the room they kept the wife in. We had to stay there about an hour before Sam and Dean showed up.

They didn't even look at us as they walked in, they just went straight over to the guy's wife. Even when they left, they didn't say hi to us, didn't even look at us. 

Nick turned to me and asked, "What the hell is going on?" 

"I don't know, you think Gabe doesn't want us helping them on this one?"

"Why would he? It's not like he doesn't want to see us." 

I shrugged and we followed Sam and Dean to where they were staying. 

We knocked on the door and Sam answered, "Hey guys, what's up?"

We smiled and I said, "We here to help out with the case, we have a theory on what's doing this. Can we come in?"

Sam nodded and opened the door wider, "Yah, of course. What's your idea?"

We started walking in and I turned back to Sam and smiled, "Uncle Gabe's back bitches!" I said smiling brightly. 

Sam's face faded into despair, "What?"

"Well, you two know him as the Trickster." I said smiling. 

Nick and I were smiling brightly, and I snapped to make a police radio appear on the table. Dean picked it up like he didn't recognize what it was, "Police scanner." I said picking it up and continuing, "We- don't exactly know where he is." 

Sam nodded, "Then how do you know it's him?"

I shrugged," I don't know, I mean, hulk sized hole. Angry monster killing another one?" 

"What?"

I held up a printed police report, "Asshole had 2 counts of spousal battery and court ordered anger management sessions." 

Dean got a stake out of his duffel bag and Nick and I laughed, "Dude, what  _now?_ " 

I stopped laughing, "Well, that sure as hell ain't gonna hurt him. Unless you've got an archangel's blade, you ain't hurting him. Not that you'd want to, right?" 

Sam looked at me with sad eyes, "We might have to. I mean, it's not like he's really helping out with stopping the apocalypse."

Dean added, "Yah, and he even killed me! A thousand times!"

"Pfft, more like 103. Secondly, that's his form of flirting with Sammy."

Sam looked at me, "How the hell is killing my brother flirting!"

Nick laughed and I answered, "Well, Dean is the person you spend the most time with. If Gabe could prove how easily he could leave/die, then he could seem like a better option for someone for you to spend time with. Even when Dean died on the Wednesday, you spent the next forever obsessed with finding Gabe!" 

Sam seemed even more confused, "Yah, and I was trying to hunt him down and kill him."

I shrugged, "Didn't matter to him, after you left Stanford he sorta lost his damn mind. At first he thought that if you were chasing him you wouldn't hunt anything that actually wanted to kill you. He thought he was keeping you safe." 

"Keeping me safe! How the hell is- what made him possibly think that-" Sam kept trying to reword his argument, but he never finished the thought.

I crossed my arms and leaned against a wall, "Let me guess, you don't really have a follow-up." 

Sam just shrugged, "Not really, but w-why? Why go through the trouble of getting hunted when you could be helping avoid the apocalypse?"

I shifted and switched my arms, "Well, you'll have to ask him to explain it."

"Why?"

"Because, no offense, but your brain is stupid. It's nothing personal, but you're human, you can't even see creature's true forms. I mean, you can see mine, cause my true form is partially human-ish."

Dean and Sam both looked at me, Sam asked/stated, "We can see your true form?" When I nodded he continued, "Without it burning out our eyes?"

I nodded, "Yah, come on, let's go outside." I was actually a little excited.

Nick brought the police scanner as we walked outside to a field by the hotel. 

Once we were at the middle of the field Dean asked, "This isn't gonna, like, destroy anything, is it?"

I shook my head, "If I were completely an anything, then yes. You saw your grave when Dad got you topside, but since I'm" I looked down at myself and stretched out my arms like that was somehow going to give me the answer, "I'm me. Like-" I had to think a moment before I thought of something to compare it to, "you guys met the son of the demon and human right?" They both nodded, "Well, I'm like the opposite-ish of him, well, what he was supposed to be. He was supposed to be hell's greatest weapon, and I was supposed to be heaven's." 

Dean still seemed a little confused, "What do you mean supposed, and what does that have to do with not destroying anything?"

"Well, supposed to, as in not actually, and secondly, it's sort of like I'm the link between heaven and earth type of shit. The whole 'do no harm' crap is sorta engraved in my skull at this point." 

Sam looked worried, "Like, literally?"

"What, no. Why would you think that? Nobody gets shit carved into them unless it's major angelic blah-blah. Trust me, none of the upper class assholes cared enough to even talk to me." 

Sam nodded, "What about the stuff on our ribs?" I did the same head tilt that Cas does and Sam continued, "Cas put some stuff on our ribs."

"Do you know what it says?" Sam and Dean shook their heads, I took the time to look at each of them while asking, "Do you wanna know?" Sam nodded and I made my eyes flicker and snapped to make two pieces of paper appear. I made the carvings appear on the paper, all written out neatly, instead of curving with their ribs. I looked at Dean's said, "Aw," He looked a little mad but I continued, "yours says, basically, that Cas calls dibs. Well, want the exact translation, or just my interpretation of it?"

Dean probably thought  _I'd_ make it all sappy sounding, "Exact translation."

I smiled, this is gonna be fun, "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. Or at least give you an option that's easier to understand, it says, and I quote, 'this beautiful face and body I, angel of fire, recreated from the Pit. This lovely form, full of stars, most delectable exemplar of humanity, beloved work of God...' blah blah blah can't read this part sorry, 'if you should dare harm him, prepare to be smited unto Oblivion! Signed, Castiel.'" 

I hadn't looked up at either Sam or Dean the entire time I'd read off the thing until I'd finished. Damn I wish I'd had a camera. 

Sam was smiling like an idiot, but Dean still looked confused, "Yah, uh, rough translation,  _in English,_ please."

Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Delectable example of humanity my ass." under his breath. 

Nick laughed, "Tell Gabe that, he'd probably agree with you!"

I smiled and said, "Well,  _my_ translation of it, without it sounding like something that belongs in an english class where students go to die, is ' this dude, whom I call dibs on, is perfect. He is perfect and he is mine, and he is the greatest human to ever human. I am the one who rebuilt him in hell, so he is  _mine._ If you so dare  _look_ at him the wrong way, prepare to get your ass handed to you by an angel of the lord.' See, I think my way's better."

Dean's face was bright red, he took the paper and glanced at it, quickly realizing he couldn't read it. He handed it back, "Can you-" I snapped and made the english, word-for-word translation of what I could decipher appear on the page. "Thanks."

Sam smiled, "What does mine say?" 

I looked at the paper with Sam's on it, "Word for word or mine?"

"Yours is fine." 

"Well, it says  'this is the highly favored brother of  _my_ human. This human is my friend, and a kind and loyal companion. If you find him after I have gone, be kind to this human, just as he always was to me. If you harm this human, I will smite you off the face of the Earth, and none will be forgotten, none will be forgiven. Brothers and sisters, treat this human with respect, for he is not deserving of your bullshit."

Sam smiled and I made his paper show english and handed it to him. He smiled even more as he read it, and Dean finally looked up from his. He shook his head and blinked a little, "I still have no clue what the hell that says," 

He handed the paper back to me and I said, "Sure you don't." Sam handed his paper back to me.

"Thank you Ellie," I smiled and nodded, Sam looked around and asked, "you still gonna do the true form thing?" 

I quickly nodded and smiled brightly, "Connect to my power, connect to me. Flow through my body, flow through my blood." I made my eyes flicker and saw Sam and Dean stare at me with wide eyes. 

Many of the demons we had grown up with said that my true form was more beautiful than anything they could've ever imagined. I had wings like the angels, but instead of them being rounded, the edges were sharp, not to the touch. If you looked at them, you'd think they'd chop you in half, but they were still soft as silk. There were four layers of feathers, the first/top, and fourth/bottom were pitch black. The second was light blue like my eyes, and the third was bright green. The wings spanned out eighteen feet in each direction. I watched Sam and Dean step back to try to be able to see the entirety of both at the same time. I folded them back behind me to where they only went two or three feet away from me. 

Sam and Dean's jaws fell when they looked at me again, I guess that before they were to focused on the wings to see the horns. I had two horns, which looked more like tiny antlers than horns. They were shrunken elk antlers, but made out of black plates of metal. They had glowing blue, I want to say it's lava, but it wasn't really hot, running through the plates and to me they looked like fat veins. 

They both just looked at me in shock for awhile. 

Nick eventually snapped their attention, "Hey."

They both looked like they just woke up, Dean was the first to talk, "That's your true form?" I nodded, "It's beautiful." I felt my face get red. 

"Thanks." I've always been the sort of person that has no idea how to react to getting complimented. 

Sam nodded in agreement with Dean, "Yah, can you look like that all the time?"

I nodded and said, "Yah, but I not without everybody freaking out." I pretended to be disappointed and said, "Just imagine, if people didn't have such fragile little minds, it'd work as a damn good pickup line. I wouldn't even have to talk!" Sam laughed and Nick rolled his eyes, "What? I wouldn't! I could just walk up, do the eyebrow thing that Gabe taught us, and say 'Suh dude.' It'd be so freaking easy!"

Nick fell over laughing again, "Holy shit, it's been forever since you've said that!" 

Dean looked at both of us, "What?"

Nick could barely stop laughing enough to say, "Suh dude," He looked at me, barely able to breathe since he was laughing so much, "She hasn't said that since our freshmen year of highschool!"

I laughed, snapping to make a glass of whiskey show up in my hand, "You should've seen me when I was drunk in college!"

Dean rolled his eyes and Sam smiled, "You went to college?"

I nodded, watching Nick finally get up, "Yah, first time was a degree in Human Resources Development, and the second time was psychology, but I didn't finish that degree before we had to move." 

Sam's head slightly tilted, "Why didn't you stay and finish the second degree?"

I shrugged, "Nick was on a hunting trip, and he hadn't been home in a few days. He was trying to find wherever Cas had run off to, but he still hadn't gotten his vessel yet so I had no clue what he was supposed to do." 

Sam nodded, 'So, you just decided to leave?" 

"Well, yah. I thought I'd go back right after I found him and made sure he was okay, but then he told me that he'd found some other angels. Then I just sort of followed, we didn't know that those assholes wanted us dead. Once Gabe rescued us he told me I could go back, but I didn't really want to. Gabe'd already told us he could get us to run into you two, and that Cas would be there too."

Sam just nodded, and tried to stay positive, "What were you gonna do with your degrees?"

"I don't really know, part of me thought I'd return to hell at some point. Most of the higher of secretaries of records had degrees in shit, didn't really matter what it was. It was just a matter of them having been to college. I'd always thought the human resources development degree would actually be able to help with the job, and I've always loved psychology." 

Sam smiled, "That's really cool, that you decided to go to college."

I shrugged, "Didn't have anything else to do, my first degree wound up being more in bartending than human resources. Although, when you're working with demons and people that sold their souls, it's honestly like the same thing."

Sam laughed to himself a little, "Nevermind then."

I laughed too, "What? Did you suddenly have some respect for the fact that your niece went to college to better her place in her career?"

Nick started laughing too, "Yah, I guess it's good she changed your mind now instead of later." 

Sam didn't pay attention to Nick's comment, but the police scanner started making noise, "Um, dispatch? I've got a possible 187 out here at the old paper mill on route 6."

Another voice started, "Roger that, what're you looking at there?"

"Honestly Walt, I wouldn't even know how to describe what I'm seeing, just send everybody."

The radio shut off and Nick and I turned to Sam and Dean, Dean's eyebrows twitched, "That's weird."

Sam looked at the radio, "Weird enough to be him?"

Nick and I smiled and we started walking back to the hotel room. "Where are you guys going?"

I turned around, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to talk to him Sammy?" 

Sam nodded, "Yah, but we don't know how to kill him."

"Why do you two insist on killing my favorite uncle on Cas' side of the-" My phone started ringing and interrupted me. I took out my phone, which was currently playing part of a song that wasn't supposed to come out for many more years. I'm so glad Gabriel got us any music that was going to come out before 2020. The song was called Sucker for Pain, and the part that was playing was sung by my favorite band, Imagine Dragons. 

The lyrics were, 'I torture you, take my hand through the flames. I torture you, I'm a slave to your games. I'm just a sucker for pain. I wanna chain you up, I wanna tie you down. I'm just a sucker for pain.'

Sam and Dean stared at my phone, I always forget that they didn't have phones with customizable ringtones yet topside. I gave the signal to give me a minute. 

"Hello." I didn't check if it was a contact before I answered, I just knew that I hadn't set that as any of contacts' ringtones.

"Uh, hello, are you busy right now?" Nick laughed like a dumbass when he realized I was talking to Crowley. 

I did the thing where you cut a finger across your throat, and mouthed 'shut up' to him. 

Dean asked quietly, "Who is it?"

Nick just smiled, and I moved the phone away from my mouth and mouthed 'boss'. 

Sam and Dean just nodded, but they seemed a little confused. They stayed quiet while I was on the phone. 

"Um, sort of, but not really. We're kinda in the middle of a hunting trip right now. Why?"

"What, nothing." He said, and I heard Ceby growling, followed by a muffled, "Shut up, damn it, I'm trying."

"Then why'd you call?"

Ceby gave a satisfied yelp, I laughed a little when I pictured him winning an argument against Crowley without even talking. "Shit. Um," Ceby started barking in a pattern, it sorta sounded like he was trying to talk, "Shut up."

I laughed and said, "Hey, at least he's actually sayin something."

Ceby gave a little 'I told you so' whine, and Nick looked like he was tired of me being on the phone, he took the phone from me and asked, "Hey, let me guess, you're trying to ask out my sister, but y'all's kid is being an unsupportive jackass?"

I didn't hear what Crowley said to respond, but Nick smiled and turned to me, "Would ye like to be the king's queen without a ring, or crown, for now?"

Sam and Dean looked at me, "Quit talking like that."

"My OTP's about to be canon, I can talk however the fuck I want!" Nick paused covering the phone with hand and smirked, "And I'm going to tell him you said yes no matter what your actual answer is."

I rolled my eyes, "My answer's no, and why the hell do you care?"

He moved his hand away from the phone as he said, "It's your turn to burn some freaking pancakes." He said pointing at me before talking into the phone again, "Yah her answer was yes, congrats, I'll let you two talk that out later. We kinda have to stop our uncle from killing our uncle, so-" 

Nick waited for a second and handed the phone back to me. 

*****

Nobody really wanted to talk on the way to the paper mill, although there was plenty of topics to be talked about. 

As we drove up Sam and Dean looked confused. When we got out of the car Dean said, "There was a murder here, and there's no police. How's that look to you?"

Sam answered, "Crappy."

Nick and I answered, "Like we're about to have some fun!" Sam and Dean glared at us and we both went, "What?" Sam looked worried about us, but Dean rolled his eyes and led us into the mill.

Instead of a mill we were all inside of a hospital. This wasn't one of my favorite of Gabriel's games, but it was still pretty entertaining. 

Sam and Dean looked confused while Nick and I smiled. 

I waited for them to realize what was going on while I walked to the front desk, one of the people said, "Doctor." 

I nodded and smiled, "Morning, anything major?"

She smiled, "Nothing much doctor, but your friend needs to do the face transplant." She said pointing towards Dean. 

I nodded and walked back to them. Sam looked at me, "What the hell is going on?"

I stretched my arms out looking around, "This-" I spun around to draw their attention to everything that surrounded them, "is how Gabriel was able to get us to leave him alone for awhile. We are currently in Seattle Mercy Hospital."

Dean quickly looked at me, "What?"

"We're basically living in Dr.Sexy, it's hilarious until you realize that you're a freaking neurosurgeon!" I said starting to walk down the hallway.

Dean turned to the sign that said the name of the hospital and said, "So, Gabriel used to send you guys here? Why?"

"Well, this wasn't the only one he sent us to, but they were always to get us walking around instead of watching tv. My favorite was the princess bride one, I replaced Inigo Montoya. Nick was the guy that looked like Meta-Douche."

"Who the hell is that?" Sam asked as we turned a corner. 

"Oh, you haven't met him yet?" They both shook their heads and Nick joined me and saying, "What's it like, not knowing him, it must be so peaceful."

They both looked like their eyes were filled with a thousand questions, but guess who just got off the elevator. 

He walked straight up to Dean, glancing at all of us and saying, "Doctors."

We all responded, "Doctor."

He looked at Dean and said, "Doctor, give me one good reason you aren't doing that face transplant."

Dean tried to think of something to answer, looking at the ground he looked back up and pinned the other doctor to a wall. "Because you're not Dr.Sexy."

"What the hell makes you think that?"

"Because, part of what makes Dr.Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots, not tennis shoes."

Sam rolled his eyes and Nick and I both muttered, "That's totally straight." Sam smiled a little.

Dean turned back to us and said, "Shut up."

The other doctor smirked and morphed into Gabriel. "Well, you guys are getting better! Or is it just 'cause they're here?"

"HI GABE!" Nick and both said, pushing Dean out of the way to hug our uncle. 

"Hey kiddos, how's life in the apocalypse?" Nick was just tall enough to rest his head on top of Gabe's.

"We're fine, trying to get Sabriel to sail, but we're fine."

Gabe pushed us away with wide eyes. He quickly glanced at Sam and back at Nick. He faked a smile and said, "Well, I don't know what drugs you kiddos are on, but you'd better share!"

Nick smiled and said, "Tumblr isn't drugs, it's addicting, but it isn't drugs. Plus I'm pretty sure Ellie doesn't wanna replicate burnt pancakes."

Gabe's smile turned genuine, "Wait, are you two dating yet?" He turned to me with eager eyes.

"Yah," I glanced over at Sam and said, "and if it weren't for the fact that we've been explicitly told the answer, we could ask you the same thing."

 Gabe smirked and disappeared without commenting. Nick looked at me and said, "Look what you did!"

I shrugged, "Well, now we can go play!"

Nick rolled his eyes as Sam and Dean followed me down the hallway. 

Nick followed too, eventually. He finally caught up when we walked past the room with the patient that needed a face transplant. 

The woman's husband stepped into the hallway and said, "Doctor, my wife really needs that face transplant."

Dean looked at me, and with confirmation that he was supposed to be the one doing the transplant, said, "Look, none of this is real, and your wife doesn't need shit."

He started to lead us down the hallway when the man said, "Alright, doctor." and there was a gunshot. 

Sam yelled, "We need a doctor!" down the hallway and Nick rolled his eyes.

"Where's the nearest operating room, I got this."

Sam and I followed Nick while we dragged Dean behind us. When he looked like he was about to pass out I told him, "You're gonna be fine, Nick was halfway through med school when he left to go find you."

Sam smiled, "So, both of you went to college?"

Nick nodded, "Yah, all thanks to Ellie's shitty engagement!"

It almost seemed like Dean woke up just to get angry, "What!"

I rolled my eyes, "You know, you're practically dying, I'm pretty sure you have other shit to worry about." 

Sam just looked curious, "You're engaged?"

" _Was_ engaged, to an annoying douche wad who's only redeeming quality was the fact that he owned a '67 Impala

"Yah, an Impala that you stole."

"When the hell did you steal his car?"

"Mm, before I spray painted the batman logo on the hood, but after I ditched him at the alter."

 Sam looked a little worried, but Dean seemed a little angry, "Why the hell would you have the batman logo spray painted onto your car?"

"Um, because it's purple and it looks cool." I said sitting down on the edge of the operating table.

Dean seemed a little mad when I sat down, so I quickly replied, "Dude, you're short, there's plenty of room for me to sit down."

The room shifted as soon as Nick finished the stitches.

It was on of the most fun rooms to spectate, not so much play in. It was a Japanese game show that was in mostly in English, until the host asked a question, which the contestant had to answer in Japanese."

Judging by the looks on Sam and Dean's faces, they were confused, but they hadn't figured out what to expect if they got the question wrong.

 The host turned to Sam, "Sam Winchester," he asked 'what is the name of the demon that you chose over your own brother' in Japanese, and I don't feel like translating.

Sam looked confused and nervous as the counter ticked behind him, "I don't speak Japanese."

The counter hit zero, and well, I'd rather not describe what happened, only Sam's reaction.

His whole face went red, and Dean looked over at him. "Dude, are you okay?"

Sam glared up at him and didn't answer, his whole face screamed, 'do I _look_ okay!'.

One of the girl's in the background called the host over to advertise some chips. I crunched one some of my own chips, and my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Um, hello Elizabeth."

I crunched extra loudly on the chips, it appeared to annoy Nick, "Hey Crowley, sup?" Nick smiled and I remembered what the  last phone call was about. "Uh, you didn't really listen to what Nick said last time did you?"

"Well, yes, but that's sort of why I'd called. I don't exactly feel like trusting your brother's answer."

Nick's smile faded as he heard what Crowley said, I stuck my tongue out at him. "Yah, that's probably pretty smart. Didn't even hear the question." I didn't even trust Nick saying the right question.

"Right, um," Ceby barked in the background, and Crowley probably pulled the phone away from his face, "shut up, she didn't even hear the question." Ceby whined, he sounded disappointed. "What, do you wanna ask her?" Ceby happily barked and he responded, "Okay, you do realize I was joking, right?"

Ceby growled, and I said, "HEY! We don't exactly have time for stalling."

"Okay, why?"

"Sam just got hit in the balls and Dean's about 45 seconds behind him."

"Oh, okay? Well, um, when whatever the is going on is over, did you want to go get dinner?"

Nick smiled, "What? Dude, we get dinner like all the time, sure, you pick."

"Uh, no I-I meant like a date?"

"WHAT?" In all honesty, I probably looked like Cas, completely freaking clueless.

Nick smiled, and I got very quiet, "What?"

Nick smiled and said just enough for the phone to avoid picking up, "You should probably answer before he hangs up."

I nodded and answered, "Uh, y-yah, sure."

The host came back, and I found a gif on my phone from when this had happened on the show, and Cas burst through the door. The gif was Dean asking why Cas was there, and then Cas' response was something along the lines of, I sensed your dick was in danger!.

I played the gif when Cas actually came through the door and Dean looked over with the 'shut up' look on his face. The host of the show made Cas disappear into thin air and Dean was asked his question. The timer ticked down and Dean panicked, he gave a fake answer, which as luck would have it, was correct.

The timer buzzed right as he answered, but instead of a repeat of what happened to Sam, the host declared Dean the winner.

Nick stood up from the crowd cheering, "Hey Dad, still got the balls to help me go kill Ellie's new boyfriend?!"

Dean looked at him questioningly, and the room switched to an outdoor place.

It was a commercial for, let's just say medicine. Sam said his line and Nick and I shouted, "Gabriel sends his love and condolences!"

I think that just for that Gabe switched the room to a sitcom. Cas burst in through the front door and said, "Something's wrong, this thing is too powerful to be a Trickster."

Cas was thrown against the wall as Gabe crashed in, "Hello!" He turned to Cas and said, "Hey Castiel." before snapping him to who knows where.

I figured we were about two seconds away from Dean kicking Gabe's ass, so I snapped and brought everyone back to the old paper mill, and Gabe was surrounded by a circle of holy fire.

Dean smiled at the fire, "Who the hell are you?"

"You already know, I'm the Trickster."

Dean looked back at me and Nick and said, "Is that so, that's not what your niece said, or what the hall of whatever showed us."

Gabe switched to looking like Jess, "Fine, whatever, but why am I in a circle of holy fire."

I stepped forward a little and said, "I would prefer if you and Dean weren't constantly trying to kill each other."

Gabe/Jess twitched an eyebrow, "Trying, you call mystery spot trying?"

"No, but that's my point. This way, he can't hurt you, you can't hurt him."

"Fine, I guess I should thank you for shiving Azazel's golden eyed ass. Hated that guy, he _ruined_ everything."

Dean smirked, "yah, well, I'd love to ask what the hell that means as much as the next guy, but you need to bring back Cas, now."

Gabe snapped and Cas was next to him, a few feet outside the fire ring. Cas tilted his head and asked, "Who the hell are you?"

Gabe made it start raining candy apples, and Cas knew who he was, "I thought you were dead."

Death of a Bachelor started playing, and Gabe waved his arms out and said, "What'd I'd tell you Cassie, I ain't dying till I get to sing this at a wedding." He looked at Sam and Dean and said, "Angels don't exact have the most rational shit on their bucket lists."

Cas nodded and said, "You're much shorter than the last time I saw you."

"Yah, this isn't even my regular vessel. He's even shorter." Gabe said switching to look normal again.

Cas nodded, "Thank you, Gabriel."

"For what?"

Cas glanced over at me and Nick and said, "For taking care of them."

Gabe waved his hand in dismissal, and made chocolate milkshakes appear in Nick and I's hands. "They're my brother's kids, they're my responsibility too. If anything I should be blamed for not rescuing them from Zachariah sooner."

Dean's got wide and he pushed ahead of Cas, "Wait a minute, what do you know about Zachariah?"

"I know that he used to be my brother, and that I'm gonna chop his freaking head off!"

"Can't Dean already called dibs." I said, hoping we wouldn't bring up the scar on my neck.

 "Dammit! Fine! Dean gets to kill Zach, Cas gets to ice Anna and Uriel, and I don't get to kill any of the people that hurt you two!"

Dean stepped back, "What did Anna do?"

Gabe, Nick, and I glared at him and all said, "You _know_ what she did."

Dean didn't give a response, but Gabe added, "The only good thing about her existing was the fact that I have this." Gabe said making a hologram of a memory appear.

It was when they had just found out Anna heard angel radio. When she said, "First words I heard, clear as a bell," Nick and I cut her off by playing a song.

The lyrics that almost perfectly flowed off Anna's sentence was, "I'm bringing sexy back, you other fuckers don't know how to act."

Gabe smiled, it was his smile that he reserved for whenever he was proud of something stupid that we did to make him laugh.

Sam laughed too, and Dean just barely smiled, he was trying not to laugh.

 Gabe's eyes went wide like he remembered something, "Oh, or there's this little gem, they didn't make it. It's from the universe they lived in before though," Gabe scrolled through air, "that universe has some hot shit though."

Gabe found what he was looking for, and it was bits and pieces of conversations snapped together.

It started with Cas saying, "My true form is approximately the size of your Chrysler building."

Then, Gabe smiled since he contributed the next line of Dean saying, "I'm gonna need a bigger mouth!"

Then it switched to when Dean and Cas first met topside, "This is your problem Dean, you have no faith."

Gabe had to sit down he was laughing so much, and Sam wasn't far behind.

Cas had his head tilted and Dean looked like he wanted to get mad, but he didn't know what to say.

Nick and I just stood there and Sam looked at us and asked, "How are you not laughing?"

We each got on one knee and did a ta-da type of thing where we waved our arms, "Where we come from, that's the internet!" 

Sam's eyes got wide, "Seriously?"

I got up and got my phone. I scrolled through screenshots and gifs, Sam watched shocked at just how much crap I'd had on my phone. "What's all that?"

"666 gigabytes of gay porn and fandom quotes." 

Sam and Dean stared at me and Gabe and Nick laughed, "Last time I checked it was only 660!" 

I shrugged, "I had a week off."

I saw a gif that I didn't remember saving at the front of the line of newest things. I tilted my head and started to play it. 

It was one with sound and from a season that included events that haven't happened yet. It showed Crowley, and I think it was from season 8. It was when Sam was injection him with human blood. 

"We deserve to be loved, I deserve to be loved!" 

The only thing was, instead of the room going quiet,  _I_ burst in through the doors of the church. I had a shotgun leaned up against my shoulder, and I leaned up against a wall. I smiled over at Crowley, "Suh dude."

I stared at my phone, and Nick was confused too. 

Sam laughed, "Who's that?"

"A person." 

Sam nodded, I don't think he cared enough to try to pry out an answer.

Nick smiled and said, "That's her boyfriend!"

"SHUT UP NICK!"

"NEVER!"

*****

We finished getting Dean to say that he wouldn't try to kill Gabe, and that Gabe couldn't try to kill him either. After we got them to each calm down, we went back to the hotel and help them pack their things.

As they finished packing, Sam got a text from Chuck. He looked panicked and said, "We need to go help Chuck, now!"

We all ran outside and Nick asked, "What's going on?"

"Life or death emergency. Can you two go check on him?"

I tilted my head as Nick tried to answer but I stopped him, "You said you got a text, right?"

"Yah, why?"

I talked to myself, but it was probably loud enough for them to hear, at the very least Nick did, "So, we just passed changing channels, and the episode after that was,"

Nick's eyes went wide, "THE REAL GHOST-BUSTERS!"

I smiled, "Chuck's not in danger, but we should go check on him anyway."

Nick looked a little upset, "But she's there."

"So what? I wanna go meet that gay couple, they were freaking adorable! Plus if we don't somebody at the LARPing thingy might get hurt."

Nick nodded, "Fine."

We raced up to a building that had seven 67 Impalas parked out front. Sam and Dean stared at them as we rushed towards the building.

I quickly stopped and snapped, I was in a backless white dress that went down to my knees. Nick was in a dark suit and made his eyes flicker black.

Nick quickly got a little angry, "NO! I wanna be the Trickster!"

"Fine." I snapped and gave him a better costume.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Dean asked looking at my dress.

Sam tilted his head and asked, "Woman in white?"

I nodded, "The easiest way for me to explain it is to say that it's a costume party with Supernatural stuff as the theme."

Chuck ran out the door and up to us. "Hey guys, what're you doing here?"

Dean looked at us, "Yah, we got a text from your phone, but they said you didn't send it but we should come here anyway."

Chuck nodded, "Yah, I didn't text you guys, what'd it say?"

"Life or death emergency." Sam said and I pushed him behind a tree. "What're you doing?"

"Hiding you."

"Why?"

Nick glared down the walkway and hissed, "She's here."

Becky walked up and looked around once she saw Dean, "Hey Dean, where's Sam?"

Dean shrugged, "No idea."

Becky looked a little disappointed, and quickly ran off.

Sam moved from behind the tree, "Thanks."

Nick squinted at where Becky ran off to and said, "No problem, if anything we owe you for dragging you here in the first place, but there is a hunt here."

Chuck's eyes went wide, "What, no. There's not supposed to be an actual hunt, it's all just a game!"

I shrugged and said, "Well, the price you pay for authenticity is the chance of an actual hunt. When everyone's in the conference room, we'll need to lock down the building so nobody gets hurt while they hunt this thing down."

Chuck nodded, "Yah, of course, but what am I supposed to do to keep them busy?"

Dean interrupted, "Okay, anybody want to tell us what the hell is going on!"

"Supernatural book convention, now shut up please. " I turned back to Chuck, "I know you're gonna start publishing again, so just introduce some new characters. Nick and I'll help you."

Chuck nodded, "How are we gonna make sure that everyone in the room is safe?"

"Salt, we'll just tell them not to mess with it. Start thinking of what characters you wanna talk about."

Chuck nodded, "Um, definitely Castiel, and you two, and- yah."

I nodded, "That's a good start, might keep 'em busy for awhile, and what about characters that have been mentioned but never described?"

Chuck's eyebrows lifted, "What, like Crowley?"

Nick smiled and nodded quickly, "Yah, exactly."

Sam and Dean looked confused, "Who's that?"

"The king of the Crossroads." Nick said glancing over at me.

 "Yah, and appparently he's the one that has the colt right now." I said taking out my phone, ?" "I've got a friend that I think we could get to look like him, want me to call him?"

Chuck nodded, "Yah sure, wait, what friend?"

"A friend, he's a demon but I can make sure he won't bug anyone."

Dean looked at me, "Yah, and how tghe hell are you going to do that"

I held up a little perfume bottle, "Holy water."

Nick laughed nervously, "Yah, just keep that the hell away from me okay."

I nodded, and walked off to call Crowley.

He answered the phone fairly quickly and asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No, just, wanna come cosplay with me and Nick?"

"What?"

"We're at a convention for the Supernatural books, and we need to help Chuck introduce new characters, you'll be you, and it'll distract everybody while Sam and Dean scout the building. You don't have to show up, but it'd help."

"Sure, where is it?"

I gave Crowley the address and quickly added, "Don't tell Dean that you're you, he knows you're a demon, but nothing else."

"Okay, where do I sign up for the thing?" Crowley said walking up next to me.

"Hey, you don't have to sign up, just stay near me and Nick okay. I don't think Dean likes the idea that I have a friend that's a demon."

Nick walked up smiling, "Awe."

"Shut up." I told him and we walked into the building that Sam and Dean went into earlier. We saw each of them at the bar, and judging by the empty glasses they'd already drank a lot.

"Hey, Dad, this is Ellie's boyfriend!"

Dean turned around, and I quickly said, "Shut up Nick! He's just joking." I said quickly turning back to Sam and Dean.

I think Dean was too panicked about whatever the hell was going on around them to care, and said, "Yah, Ellie's got a couple of friends she's talked about, what' your name?"

Crowley, Nick, and I panicked. We couldn't tell them Crowley, for obvious reasons. We couldn't say Fergus either, since they'd been through the hall of memories, I quickly thought of some shows that I really hoped they wouldn't get a reference to and said, "This is Sterling Dragneel, he's a crossroads demon."

Dean nodded, thank god he didn't understand the references, one of was to an anime! "Alright, fine, we won't kill you as long as you help Ellie with- whatever the hell it is she's doing, deal?"

Crowley nodded, "Of course, anything to not piss off the Winchesters."

Nick smiled as we ran off to the conference room to talk to Chuck. We walked in and saw Becky talking to Chuck, she ran over and hugged me. "Hi Ellie, heard Crellie sailed!" She looked at Crowley and seemed a little nervous but said, "HI!"

My eyes got wide, "You know about that?" She nodded, "Okay, um, can you do me a favor and not tell Sam and Dean that he's Crowley. Don't mention that I'm dating Crowley, don't mention him at all, k?"

Becky nodded again, "Of course, it really suck if the only canon ship sunk 'cause he gets murdered by your dad, either of them."

I agreed with her and asked, "Thank you so much, but is it okay if we all talk to Chuck alone. We're planning a bit of a suprise.

Becky nodded, "Sure, let me know if you need anything."

I smiled as she ran off to another room, we all turned to Chuck and he stared at Crowley with wide eyes. "You're- you're him! Oh god, I shouldn't be here."

"Chuck," I held up the bottle of holy water, "you're gonna be fine, if he tries anything I'll cancel our date and hit him with holy water."

Nick smiled, "I always knew my sister was destined t make a king her bitch."

I squirted some of the holy water in Nick's face and watched him get mad. He ended up looking like a lost puppy, and I smiled at him and said, "You too, no getting on my nerves."

Nick didn't respond, just turning to Chuck and asking, "What do you want for us to do to help out?"

Chuck shrugged, "I don't know just talk to these people, I guess you can just act like yourselves and say that you're in character."

I smiled, "Can we help you answer questions?"

"Sure, whatever, yah."

A few minutes later, people stormed into the conference room.

Crowley, Chuck, Nick, and I were all behind a curtain and heard a man announcing a schedule and introducing Chuck as Carver Edlund.

Chuck walked out and he looked a little nervous. Some people started asking simple questions like where he got the idea for Supernatural. When he looked like me when Nick tried to drag me into a mall, I walked out to help him.

I walked out and some of the people stared at me, and I waved, "Hey Chuck, you okay?"

Chuck smiled nervously, "Yah, I'm fine Ellie."

I nodded and turned to the crowd, it was only thirty or so people, it was still terrifying. "Hi, I'm Ellie Winchester, and I'm here to help Chuck answer questions." Since the books ended before Chuck could mention their last names, no one seemed to care about it.

I called on the person with golden contacts, and he asked, "What are some things we have to look forward to in the coming books?"

I smiled, "Great question, now I'm going to ask a question before I respond, but I will answer that. Now, it's an interactive question, just raise your hand if y'all think Dean would make a good dad."  
Everyone in the crowd, even Sam, rose their hands. I smiled, "Okay, well guess what happens." Everybody leaned forward. "He ends up having a baby, with an angel!" Everybody looked confused. "Her name is Elizabeth Charlotte, and she has an adopted brother named Nickolai."

One man raised his hand and I called on him next, "Um, can you elaborate on the fact that there's gonna be angels?"

I nodded, "Of course, now there's gonna be a lot of those dicks, yes, most of the angels are dicks. There are a few nice ones though, like the one that saves Dean from hell. You all remember the Trickster right?" Everybody nodded, "Well, he's actually an archangel, named Gabriel. He's ends up helping a lot too. Um, let me think,-"

I couldn't think of anything else to say so I chose another person in the crowd, "I know they'll have descriptions in the books, but can you give us an idea of what these new protagonists are going to look like?"

I smiled, "Actually, that's more of the reason that my brother and I are here. We're here to help Chuck give a preview of the ideas for Nick and Ellie."

I waved my arm over to the curtain and Nick and Crowley walked out, "Don't forget about him too!" Nick said practically dragging Crowley behind him.

Nick had his eyes stay pitch black, which I know must've taken a lot of effort from him. Crowley's eyes were red, and I nearly tripped backwards when I saw them.

The crowd seemed worried, so I said, "Didn't see him with the contacts on!"

Everyone laughed, and Nick said, "Hey, I'm Nick, I'm a demon, and the adopted son of a Winchester. That's my sister Ellie, she's half angel and half demon, and we'll explain that later I promi-"

Nick was interrupted by a loud screaming and Sam and Dean ran out of the room. We turned to Becky and pointed out where there was a bunch of salt for her to block the doors with. She got to work and Nick and I had to figure out a way to get everyone to calm down. I got an idea when I realized that they weren't panicked, they were excited.

I took advantage of the fact that no one was looking at me to make my wings show up. When they turned around they probably thought it was a well timed prop. I watched them all look at me with wide eyes, some of them coming back from being hallway out the door.

"Please, I know that you're all excited for the hunt later, but I'm afraid that this room is currently under angelic lock down."  
I turned to Nick, he probably thought the angelic lock down thing sounded stupid. I shrugged and realized he wasn't laughing at me, he was laughing at Crowley.

He was staring at my wings and he almost had the same reaction that I had when I saw his eyes. He looked at me while addressing the crowd, "She didn't see the contacts and I didn't see the- damn."

Nick smiled and went up to the microphone, "By the way," He put a hand on Crowley's shoulder, "this is my sister's boyfriend, Crowley. Y'all might know him as the king of the crossroads!"

A bunch of hands shot up with questions, I chose a person and they asked, "What was Dean's reaction to finding out that his daughter is dating a demon?"

I pretended to look around anxiously, "SHH! The whole thing's really secretive, so he still hasn't found out." I looked around the crowd smirking, "We're sure Mr.Edlund will write a confrontation about it eventually."

Crowley stole the mic and added, "Hopefully that'll be very, very far away."

The audience laughed, and another hand shot up, "Was Ellie already dating the king when she ran into her dad, or did they start dating while her dad was hunting him down?" Some of the people seemed confused by the question, "Seeing as Ellie looks very mature, that probably means that she was separated from her dad for awhile, right?"

I looked at Nick, and he seemed pretty eager to answer, "Yah, we were separated from him for awhile, but she didn't start dating him until after we found dad, but before they start hunting him down. That's a good question, I like the fact that you brought up their age, and that is a long story, although I do kind of like the way that Carver wrote it a lot better."

Nick chose the next person to ask a question, "Nick, what is your opinion on the fact that your dad hunts demons?"

Nick's eyes were still pitch black, "Well, it's not great. It was nice when we were little, he'd tell us stories about hunting trips, but once we grew up and the angels erased his memory of us, it's been terrifying. The only proof that we have that we're his kids is the hall of memories."

Another hand went up, "What's the hall of memories?"

"That's a long story for another time."

There was another scream down the hallway, and Nick smiled, "Well, now seems as good a time as any! The hall of memories is a hallway full of billions of doors. Once you walk in, it customizes itself to your memories. Each door leads to a a certain memory, and it'll let you relive it. All of your memories are stored there, even if you don't remember it. It's fun to run through when you're drunk!"

I smirked, "Yah, real fun until you get lost and I have to track you down. At least Crowley just opens door without asking, you even tried burning down a door!"

"Well, sorry if my girlfriend cheating on me wasn't a memory I wanted to keep!"

I tilted my head, "Deevi cheated on you?" Nick nodded, "WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!"

Nick shrugged like he didn't want to answer, but the crowd said, "PLEASE TELL YOUR SISTER, and us!"

"Fine, it was while you were in college for the psych degree. It was right before finals, so I figured you didn't want to talk about it at the time, and there's no way to bring it up. It was two days after she moved in, I got home from work and, well, you don't wanna know exactly what happened."

I ran up and hugged him, then I backed up and punched him in the arm, "BITCH! You're supposed to tell me about shit! You're not supposed to let me ship you with a cheating bitch!"

Nick held his arm, I didn't think I hit him that hard, "Jerk."

I smiled, "Any other questions?"

Some more people raised their hands, and I called on the guy that was the hook man. "Well, the king of the crossroads is usually presumed to be an antagonist, but since he's dating a protagonist, what does that mean about his character?"

We all looked at Chuck and he shrugged, "Hey, you guys are supposed to be the ones answering questions about your characters," He looked at the crowd, "I'm also using this Q & A to get ideas about their characters."

I nodded and said, "Well, I'm assuming that somebody's gonna end up switching sides, don't know who yet."

Nick stepped forward, probably a little scared by my answer, "Yah, well my theory is that Crowley will try to help the Winchesters, but not enough to be considered a protagonist, but he won't hurt them enough to be an antagonist. I think he'll be borderline, just enough to be feared, but not enough to scare his girlfriend."

I nodded with Nick's answer, and Crowley added, "Well, sort of, but I'm also assuming that there'll be a background plot where everything he does that annoys the Winchesters is to keep his girlfriend safe."

The audience seemed to like the answer, and I chose the next person to ask a question.

"Why is Elizabeth dating the king of the crossroads, does she actually like him, or is it just for the power?"

Crowley looked like he didn't really wanna know the answer to that question, but I answered, "I do actually really like him, he's British and he got me a puppy, he's meeting all of my standards."

Sam and Dean rushed in just in time for them to hear my response, and we walked outside without talking about anything from the convention. 

Becky ran up to us before we left. "Hey guys!"

Sam said, "Hey Becky." as he tried to hide behind me and Nick.

Becky said, "You guys need help finding the Colt, right?"" Sam and Dean nodded, "Well, you guys know that Bela didn't give it to Lilith, right?"

"What?" Dean asked.

Becky continued, "She didn't give the Colt to Lilith, instead she gave it to her right hand man, Crowley."

Dean looked at me, "Did you know about that?"

I shrugged, "I'm not answering that."

Everybody looked at me, and Becky said, with wide eyes, "Sorry, thought that didn't count."

I waved her off and smiled, "It's fine, but shut up."

Becky nodded and walked off, and Sam, Dean, Nick, and I got in the Impala and drove off.

*****

Nick teleported to hell, and I went back home.

Ceby walked up to me and I picked him up and walked to my room.

I sat on my bed watching Ceby pace around between my bed and desk for about half an hour before any of the security guards even realized I was there.

One of the guards walked in, I recognized him, but I couldn't remember his name. He stood in the doorway of my room and asked, "Everything alright, miss?"

I nodded, "Yah, where's Crowley?"

The demon walked into the door a little and said, "I don't know, I think that the last time I checked he was about to make a deal." The demon kept walking towards me, and it was weird.

I nodded again and Ceby seemed to think something was up. "Thanks, I'll just wait here for him to get back. You can go back to your station."

The guard was already right in front of me, and he did not have a good smile. He put one hand on the wall behind me and the other one on the bed, blocking my way to the door.

"Why would I leave? I've got everything I could ever need right here." He moved the hand on the wall down, "You know, you're too good for  that asshat, why not stay here, with me."

Ceby ran off down the hallway, dammit. I had to think of something to do, and quickly. "You know, there's a certain quality that makes a woman more qualified to be sacrificed to Satan." I said pretending like I liked him and batting my eyes and tilting my head. "I'm sure as hell not gonna lose that quality to you." I said as I grabbed the knife I kept under my pillow and stabbed him in the crotch.

He fell over to my right, which left the path to door open.

I ran over to the door, still holding the knife. When I turned around he didn't seem to be in pain, just in shock. He even started laughing, "I'm gonna tell all of hell about your little secret, and you're gonna be dead! You're gonna wish you just let me-"

He stopped when Crowley walked in pointing a gun to his head. Before Crowley could pull the trigger I stopped him, "Hey asshat, if I were you I wouldn't worry about me, I'd worry about yourself. Your DNA rifle alone is gonna get the worst of it."

Crowley and the guard both looked confused, "DNA rifle?"

"Yah, DNA rifle, 100% all-beef thermometer, magic wand, power drill, thanks to the internet I could go on."

The guard rolled his eyes, "What, is saying cock against some new virgin pact or something?"

I took the gun from Crowley and shot the guard in the stomach, he'd live, for now. "No, dumbass, just the day I write the word cock in a fanfic is the day Nick wins our bet."

Crowley looked confused, "That doesn't mean you can't say it."

"Yah, but, DNA rifle sounds cool."

*****

It was dark outside when there was someone buzzing the house from the gate.

Crowley and I were in the living room, and I was forcing him to watch more forensic shows. He seemed to like watching them more when they were one's I'd already seen. I usually explained what major key leads them to the killer or arsonist, and go around taking care of shit around the house during the episode.

Some of the guards had answered the gate, and there were some loud noises before I could tell that Sam and Dean had broken in, I got the strangest feeling that Jo was nearby too.

I turned from the tv and saw Crowley handing me a drink, I took the drink and told him, "I can't let them see me here."

He nodded and snapped, making my hair bright and blonde and my eyes grey. "What if they don't know it's you?"

I thought for a minute before just snapping back to normal. "I can't stay here, sorry. Tell them not to bring the Harvelles with them on the mission though, please."

"Of course." I'm honestly starting to think that's our form of the 'as you wish' crap in Princess Bride.

*****

After Sam and Dean left, I went back to the house.

Crowley was in his office and sitting at his desk. I smiled and asked, "How'd it go?"

"Your uncle tried to shoot me in the face and they both interrogated me on why I'd told them not to bring the Harvelles. They did eventually agree to it though."

I nodded and sat on the edge of his desk, it always pissed him off, without actually pissing him off, it's weird. "What now?"

"Now, we wait for them to kill the devil." Crowley looked up at me and snapped, making a bunch of suitcases packed with my things appear.

"What's all that for?"

"I'm kicking you out."

"What?"

Crowley looked up at me, and I was beyond mad. Ceby rushed into the office just to growl at him. He looked up, and he looked, sad. "Please, just, get out."

"Can you at least tell me why?"

"No. Please, just leave."

"Fine." I said, taking the bags and walking out of the house. Ceby trotted beside me, trying to cheer me up. I smiled at him, he looked so cute trying to run with just one front leg.

I tried to think of what possible reason he could've had for kicking me out, and I turned back to the house just in time to see it go up in flames.

 


	5. Welcome Home

I ran back towards the house, and Ceby raced behind me. We barely got to the front gate before we realized what started the fire. There was a group of probably ten demons standing by the front of the house some of them had gas cans and some of them held lighters.

They all turned to me and started walking towards me. I started trying to run away, but damn demons run fast. One of them grabbed my arm and Ceby started barking at them. Right as the one that grabbed my arm tried to teleport away, Crowley walked out of the burning house and yelled at them. "GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM MY WIFE!"

The demon let go of my arm and they all ran off. I held my arm and turned to Crowley, "Wife?"

Crowley shrugged and I realized he'd been carrying the birdcage with the hummingbird in it. "I don't know, get the bloody hell away from my 'girlfriend that I just kicked out so I think she hates me' sounds a lot less threatening." 

I laughed and took the birdcage from him. "Thanks." I put my hand against the cage so the bird could fly over to it. It lightly bumped its head into my thumbs and flew around. "Did you know they were going to do that?"

Crowley picked up Ceby and nodded, "Of course, I knew it wasn't going to take them long to get their shit together after they found out I gave your dad the Colt." 

I nodded and messed with Ceby's ears since he got some snow on them and we all watched the house collapse after burning. "Now what?"

Crowley took the birdcage back and handed me Ceby. "Don't know love, probably have to find somewhere else to live. Where do you want to go?"

I shrugged and messed with Ceby's ears. "Nick and I have some houses in hell, but if you mean topside we've got nothing. We should probably stay in America, try finding an abandoned building."

"Why stay in America?"

"Because we have the option to go anywhere, so by staying here we're just avoiding all the people that want us dead." 

"Us?"

"Yah, you want the devil dead and I'm the daughter of a Winchester, everyone hates us. Welcome to the club hon."  I said looking at my phone. I started texting Nick to find an abandoned house for us to live in for awhile. It only took a second for my phone to beep with his reply. "There's a house that Nick found out in the middle of nowhere, used to be a farmhouse. Wanna go?"

"Sure, don't know where else to go." 

"Okay." I said snapping to make my motorcycle show up. I put on my helmet and got on, "Let's go." 

Crowley's eyes went wide when he saw the motorcycle, "What?"

I held out a red helmet, " Come on, you can't teleport cause then they'll be able track you down."

"Why don't you have a car?"

"Because motorcycles are faster." I said proudly, then got quiet and added, "and I don't know how to drive a car."

Ceby barked like he was laughing at me and Crowley smirked, "What?"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE A CAR, OKAY!" I started the motorcycle and let the wheels spin but made the motorcycle stay in place, "You gonna get on or what?"

Crowley put on the helmet and got on the back of the motorcycle. Luckily Ceby was small enough to sit in front of me. He put his front left paw on my arm so he could balance and I snapped and gave him a tiny helmet. 

I started racing down the highway for a few minutes before Crowley started screaming his damn head off. I pulled over and took off my helmet so I could talk. 

"You okay?" I asked turning around. 

Crowley left his helmet on and shook his head. 

"What's wrong?"

"HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD?"

I laughed, "We should put that on some t-shirts and hand them out to Sam, Dean, and Cas." Crowley gave what sounded like a nervous laugh ,"What?"

"You do realize there's this thing called a speed limit, right?"

"Yah, yah, never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. But you know what? I'm my own god damn guardian so Imma do whatever the fuck I want."

I started driving again and it honestly sounded like Crowley yelped, it was hilarious. I raced/dodged the rest of the way over to the house. 

Crowley quickly got off the bike as soon as I stopped. I took off my helmet and I'm pretty sure, judging by the way Crowley was looking at me, that I looked like the whole wavy hair in the wind, hearts floating everywhere, glittering doves, stereotype of perfection that is when you get off a motorcycle and you're a girl. 

Nick walked out to me with a pumpkin pie and two cans of whipped cream. I smiled and took one of the whipped cream cans and smiled, "House warming present?"

"Yep." Nick said as he handed the pie to Crowley.

Nick looked like he was about to leave when I asked "Aren't you staying here?"

Nick laughed, "Nah, I'll let you two deal with the honeymoon house." 

I flipped him off and walked up towards the house. The place looked like shit, but I guess they wouldn't find us here. Nick was gone by the time I'd turned back. Ceby ran up to me and waited for me to open the door. 

As soon as I did I knew the real reason Nick left. The place looked even worse on the inside. The windows were shattered, the stairs looked like they could fall apart when you stepped on them. The doors were falling off of their hinges, and the wallpaper was peeling. The layout of the house looked like if the house I had in hell had fallen apart, which, since I haven't been home in forever, might be its actual state. 

I looked around the place and turned back to Crowley as he walked in the door. 

He looked disgusted with the whole house and I smiled and took the pie from him and said, "Welcome home." 


End file.
